tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55573020218347000502024-03-05T21:31:31.616-08:00Maris' VisionJim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.comBlogger166125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-40989839451036173302023-07-08T18:21:00.003-07:002023-07-08T18:21:37.275-07:00Chapter One: The Eighth Deadly Sin<p> <span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">The human raised his axe over his head, ready for the killing blow, and Belial watched on, delighted. The human could see him, if he looked hard, since he was currently in Belial’s thrall, and the old demon was under strict orders to remain unnoticed, but he wasn’t worried about that. The human, one of two left in the entire battle, was caught up in his veneration, however accidental, of the demon of war.</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-e39a3450-7fff-2099-c7a1-780e11e56eee"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">The human on the ground was piteously wounded, trying to pull himself along the ground and to safety, his hand held up as though it would do anything to even blunt the inevitable death blow. “Radra, save me!” he cried.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">The axe remained in the air.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“Radra?” asked the human with the axe. “Do you speak of Radra, the preserver of fish for the boats of men?” The other man’s eyes widened, and the axe-wielder brought his weapon to his side.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“We of the hills call her Radra, she who shows the path of the grain.” The axe-wielder’s face darkened at what sounded like heresy. “B-b-but is there any finer meal than fish and fresh bread?” He smiled, as broadly and sincerely as he could. The axe-wielder’s face softened.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“I cannot argue with that, friend, and Radra is great enough indeed for fish and bread.” He tucked the axe away in a loop in his belt and surveyed the field, where a dozen men lay bleeding in the dirt. “This is such a waste. What a miserable way for us to end up with fewer mouths to feed, when you could’ve showed us Radra’s ways with grain and we could’ve shown you how to hunt for fish.” He held out a hand to the man on the ground. “Let today be the day when we begin to teach each other.”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">The man on the ground clasped the arm of the man who moments ago sought to kill him and smiled. He also tried to pull himself to his feet, but winced and fell back to the ground.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“Your leg is too injured, friend. Allow me to apply a splint and then we can see who of our people we can save.”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Belial screeched and howled the entire way back to Hell, slamming into the ground before the Morningstar’s throne with enough force to crack the stones.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“Well,” said the Morningstar, lounging on his throne. Like the demons, Hell had warped his appearance toward chaos and decay, but he was even more mutable and less a part of reality and currently looked like a man in the shape of an ember burning with a pale purple fire. “Well, well, well. What’s your explanation for your failure this time?” Belial tried to speak, but he simply couldn’t find the words.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“The first time,” the Morningstar continued, “You claimed that the war ended at a draw because their weapons all broke when the first murder was committed with bare hands. The second time, you claimed that Lust got in your way because one of the warlords thought the leader of the enemy looked like their former mate. Then there was the debacle with Lamech, so, tell me, what’s the excuse this time. I bet it’s extra pathetic.”</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“It’s … it’s …” and it was then that Belial realized exactly what the problem was. “It’s the Fall.”</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“What?” the Monringstar shouted, his voice like a cone of the sun’s flame, his words reverberating in the air like the drumming cadence at the beginning and the end of creation. “My plan, my ultimate plan, has made your job more difficult, has it?”</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“It has made war something that ends, my lord, that’s all. They know that they’re mortal now. Recall, we demons were created before Man was even created, when were all guessing at what animal The Presence and his court would use as the model for the pinnacle of their creation. I was made the Demon of War because the other primates, they’ll fight to the last of them if given half a chance.”</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“And those primates, you’re saying that they don’t know that they can die, and humans do?”</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“No. Well, yes and no. Humans know that they can die, but they’ve also learned what it means to live, and that working together is their greatest strength. An ape might work for someone towards an end a few days or a few weeks hence, but humans think they can see far, far into the future.”</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“They’re deluded,” the Morningstar said with a sneer.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“Yes, but they’re also planners, especially when it comes to survival. No matter how vicious the war, one of them’s eventually going to realize that they need to talk and come to terms of peace,” Belial finally dared to stand and almost immediately regretted it. His body wasn’t mortal, but it could be damage and the long fall to Hell had taken a toll. Nevertheless, he stood as straight as he could.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“You made me for war,” he said, “and I can bring you war, but I can’t bring you annihilation, my lord.”</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“That’s unfortunate,” the Morninstar said, with a sly smile like the last setting of the last star. “I really do need annihilation.”</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“Please, my lord, I’ll …” The Morningstar held up a hand and Belial stopped.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“I do not need your whining words in my ears to know what justice you will face,” the Morningstar said. He uncurled himself from his throne and stepped toward his minion, stopped just when the heat of his presence became uncomfortable, then leaned forward until his face was close enough to Belial’s that the demon could hear the sizzling of his own flesh. “You’re banished,” the Morningstar said. “Banished from my realm until you have succeeded in annihilating humanity, as was your purpose, or you’ve fallen to The Presence in the effort. And so,” the Morningstar flicked a finger and Belial flew back up to the surface of the Earth, “begone.”</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Belial lay on the ground for a long time before the feeling returned to his limbs, and he began to wish that it hadn’t. They were shattered in a dozen places, and he could feel that what passed for organs in his body were just as damaged. He would heal quickly, but it would still be a week or two of agony. He ground his teeth, curls of sulphur past his teeth.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="text-wrap: nowrap;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“I will be back, Morningstar,” he vowed. “I will be back and you will bow to me.”</span></p></span>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-45369578686896968652023-04-13T15:52:00.006-07:002023-04-13T15:52:58.527-07:00No Slouch<p>“Don’t worry” the preacher says</p><p>“The world’s only getting worse” and they laugh</p><p><br /></p><p>The frame’s bent, the foundation’s cracked</p><p>The floor sags and entropy marches on</p><p><br /></p><p>But we’ve got this toolbox in my shed</p><p>And a friend with a truck and tow-rope</p><p>There’s wood and cinderblock in the garage</p><p>And these hands and those hands and yours</p><p><br /></p><p>The centre can’t hold forever, I know</p><p>And that bastard gyre ever-widens</p><p>But we might as well try, we rough beasts</p><p>We might as well.</p>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-84192230562451612962022-02-19T17:23:00.001-08:002022-02-19T17:23:15.263-08:00The Lady Detectives<p> In the early 1940s, Sentinel Comics was pumping out dozens of titles a month, with most of them ending up either on the newstands or in the hands of G.I.s, and for the latter group, it was clear that they were interested in three things: Cowboys, Legacy, and lady heroes who weren't afraid to show a little skin and kick a little butt.</p><p>One of their top-selling titles was The Flying Tigress, which featured the adventures of Mei Tran, a "Chinaman" who worked as secretary to an army general* in the Pacific Theatre. When she got wind of a predicament the Army couldn't solve, she'd put on a literal catsuit and solve it with her "kung fu magic." The comics were deeply, deeply racist and anti-Asian, but immensely popular, not the least because of her "exotic beauty." SC printed and distributed posters depicting Flying Tigress in costume, most of them going to soldiers overseas, and they were so sought after that there are reports of men getting into fist fights over them, and they're among the most valuable SC memorabilia of that time.</p><p>Meanwhile, over in Two-Fisted Comics, Detective Sweet moved from back-up feature to frontliner several times. By day, she's Esther Attar, a wealthy socialite and younger sister to a police detective who frequently finds himself in over his head, moving Esther to don a man's suit and gas mask and set out to solve the crime and save her brother, using perfume-based gadgets and gizmos to save the day. When she moved to a frontliner, the man's suit changed to a woman's cut and her popularity only increased.</p><p>Science fiction heroines and magical women were popular as well, with Lady Taara, Supreme Scientist Of Earth and Lady Lama being among the most popular.</p><p>As such, it was natural that Sentinel Comics would create a title that put all four ladies in the same comic. Utterly ignoring that Taara is from the 34th century and Flying Tigress is stationed out of Indonesia somewhere, the Lady Detectives comic featured the four female characters solving crime and fighting supervillains, and it should've been lightning in a bottle. It wasn't, though, and was cancelled after only ten issues.</p><p>Fans and academics have puzzled over why the title just didn't work, but the most common and simplest theory is this: it was just too cheesecake. As I said, the boys overseas wanted some sexy ladies, but they also wanted some buttkicking, and The Lady Detectives was just too light on action. It was also a half-mag, but they still insisted on putting a pin-up in every issue. The printing just wasn't good enough to sustain it, resulting in smeary, difficult to discern pin-up art. Most of the characters would vanish by the end of the war, never to return, although Lady Lama shows up in a more recent title and eagle-eyed readers have spotted a Flying Tigress poster in Unity's locker.</p><p>* The general's name and appearance varied wildly through the title. He starts as General Millcroft, an older man in a snappy uniform, then reappears as General Mills, a handsome middle-aged man, and in the later run of the comic has a decidedly Patton-like appearance and is generally called "General Willis," although in one memorable scene a character refers to him as "General Willis" while the nameplate on his desk clearly says "General Mills."</p>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-24391945304945360872022-02-08T15:46:00.001-08:002022-02-08T15:46:20.944-08:00My Son<p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">These are my son's socks.</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-2642f6d7-7fff-64dd-9c44-4b7d1028fbcc"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He tends to "dress down," as they say, preferring</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 72pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">elastic waists</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">plain T-shirts</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">even plainer hoodies</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Looking at him, it's hard to see any sort of pattern, but these are my son's socks</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At first, we thought he liked socks that had a video game or comic book theme but, no, it turns out that</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">he just likes patterns</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They're usually hidden, these patterns</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">behind pants with ripped knees</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 72pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">food stains</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 72pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">some old and faded</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">but they're there</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Complex patterns</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 108pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">sometimes repeating</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 72pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">sometimes unique</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">always colorful</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and interesting</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and shockingly bright</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">These are my son('s socks)</span></p></span>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-13964119580261095662022-01-25T18:12:00.002-08:002022-01-25T18:29:15.718-08:00Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles And Other Strangeness: A Summary<p> <span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">TMNT And Other Strangeness is a standalone tabletop roleplaying game, published by Palladium Games and based not on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon franchise, but on the original series of comics by Eastman and Laird. It was published in 1985, only two years before the cartoon’s release, and reaction to the game, and use of its rules, was heavily coloured by the cartoon. It uses the “spine” of Palladium’s “Multiversal” ruleset, with additional rules from Eric Wujcik, and they get along like chocolate and peanut butter, if the chocolate in question is from the antimatter universe. I'll be referring to my copy of the book, the eighth printing of the Revised Edition, from 1989.</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-8ffa6473-7fff-dc70-5131-bc5e813e90b2"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For those who aren’t aware, the very kid-friendly cartoon about a quartet of “radical dudes” who stop fantastic, gonzo villains from taking over the world, who always get back home for pizza and, oh yeah, are anthropomorphic turtles, started out as a comic book series that combined the grim and gritty art and writing of Frank Miller’s Daredevil with the tropes of “funny animal” comics. Kids expecting cute and adorable characters instead got the Terror Bears, a clear parody of Care Bears, but with brain-melting psychic powers instead of the Care Bear Stare, and Dr. Feral, a mad scientist twisting animals into new and terrifying shapes.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This, combined with a multistep, complicated and opaque character creation system, made for a game that was perhaps not ideally suited to the, “I just wanna play Leonardo” crowd. Okay, enough preamble - on to character creation!</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the first step, you roll three six-sided dice to determine each of your attributes, and you do this eight times, assigning each to an attribute, in order. In the original printing, and multiple subsequent printings, it refers to their being eight attributes and then lists seven of them, “I.Q., M.E., P.S., P.P., P.E., P.B., and Spd.” Get accustomed to this kind of attention to detail. The “roll six-sided dice in order” thing is similar to attribute generation in Dungeons And Dragons, and similarly if you have a 16 or higher in a given attribute, you get bonuses. Given the way averages work in D&D, this is annoying, but TMNT adds a further level to it: if you roll a sixteen or higher, you roll </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">another</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> six-sided die and add it to your total. So, yeah, you rolled a 4 for P.S. and someone else in the group rolled a 24, and now you’ll be expected to play your character as an utter physical weakling, every week. Fun!</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The attributes stand for Intelligence, Mental Endurance, Physical Strength, Physical Prowess, Physical Endurance, Physical Beauty and Speed. These are pretty self-explanatory. The missing one, Mental Affinity, denotes your charisma and personality.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Aficionados of the Palladium games know what comes next: charts! So many charts. There are a variety of sourcebooks, including one with dinosaurs, and a bunch set in a post-apocalyptic future, covering North America, South America, Australia and other places,* each one with its own set of charts. The order does differ a bit, but you usually start by rolling to determine what animal you are and what turned you into a mutant animal, then actually building your animal character, then determining your equipment, then your alignment, your experience level (we’re almost done, I swear), your skills and your equipment. Yes, I already mentioned equipment. This book was made in the before times, when gaming had yet to evolve editors.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I should clarify, too, that you really aren’t supposed to pick things out, at all, ever. If there’s a chart, you should always, always roll on that chart. It doesn’t matter if this results in a mouse gladiator, that’s what the dice intended, and you WILL play it. This is a common feature in the Palladium Games, and one of the most common house rules is to gleefully ignore it.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let’s break those steps down:</span></p><br /><h4 style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Step One: Cause Of Mutation</span></h4><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This can involve a series of charts, but you eventually determine if you were exposed to ooze accidentally, created in a lab, or time travel or something weirder still. This also determines your skills, often with yet another roll on another table. More on those in their proper section. This isn’t the last time I’ll be talking about character options out of order.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Somewhere in this step, you also determine the animal you’ll be, not down to the species, always, but at least to the genus.</span></p><br /><h4 style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Step Two: Build Your Animal</span></h4><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Once you’ve determined your animal type, you get three basic stats: Size Level, Build and Total BIO-E. What’s BIO-E? No one really cares what it stands for, just that it’s the points that you spend to alter your animal. See, you start out as the animal, unmutated, and spent those points alter their Size Level, and their four major attributes:</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hands</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Biped</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Speech</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Looks</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">These are rated from None to Partial to Full. None doesn’t mean they’re non-existent, but rather that they’re completely animalistic. None Hands means that they have paws or hooves, Partial Biped means that they stand and move like a bear, and Full Looks means that they look as close to human as they can get - not necessarily fully human, but close. As a general rule, you can make a character that has Full Hands, Biped and Speech and is of roughly human size, which matches, but, well, it’s broken.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Remember when I said that you start with the unmutated animal? You kind of don’t. In addition to adjusting the four dials mentioned above, and your Size Level, you also buy your animal’s typical characteristics. Let’s take the mighty elephant as an exemplar.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You start as a creature with Size Level 20, a Short build, and no tusks, trunk, big ears or thick skin. You have no hands, you’re totally nonbipedal, and can't speak, but you're an elephant. I mean, you don't look like one, but it says right on your character sheet that you are one. Buying those elephant traits costs 30 BIO-E. We have no starting BIO-E, so we have to reduce our Size Level to get some.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I should note at this point that the section describing the characteristics of the various animal types starts on page 29, but the chart with the Size Levels is back on page 10. Sandwiched in between are the experience and skills sections which, again, are a later stage. That stage also includes determining our starting equipment, but that comes </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">after</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Animal Types because this book hates us and wants us to cry.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Anyhow, we’re back on that chart - so we have to go down to Size Level 14. Based on our Short build, we’re 60+1d6 inches tall. Yeah. We’re an elephant that’s shorter than an average adult man, and we still don’t have hands, can’t walk and can’t speak. If we want to be able to do all of these things - and what’s the point in having a TMNT character that can’t strike a cool pose and drop a sick burn on a Foot Clan Ninja while clutching a culturally appropriative melee weapon in its fist - they we need 30 more BIO-E, which takes down to Size Level 8, making us 36+1d6 inches.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Who’s a wee little pachyderm man? WE are. Oh, and those tusks that we paid for? They cost us 10 BIO-E, or two Size Levels. And why? They’re intended for us to use them as natural weapons, but it doesn’t tell us how much damage they do, anywhere, and given that damage for other natural weapons goes from 1d8 to 2d12, we’re just plain guessing. Board might give us a clue - they have Large Tusks that do 2d6 damage, so I'd probably go with that.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I should note, I plucked the elephant out because it was the first one that caught my eye, but this is the way the book works out - if you want all of the cool stuff, your character will quite often be pocket-sized.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Oh, I should mention - your Size Level can adjust your attributes. Between Size Levels 6 and 10 is the “butter zone” where you only get bonuses - any lower and you get penalties to Physical Strength and … I.Q? Sure, everyone knows small people aren’t smart, I guess. Larger, and you have penalties on Speed.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is, frankly, the biggest letdown of the whole system. This was a time in game design where there was an emphasis on having players make “hard choices” when building characters - you shouldn’t be completely happy with your character, or the options available to them because … well, no one every gave me a good reason for that, and so I usually adjusted their characters so they were roughly the creature they wanted them to be.</span></p><br /><h4 style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Step Three: Equipment</span></h4><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s shopping time! Palladium Games books are famous/infamous for having long lists of detailed descriptions of equipment that have very little difference between them, mechanically. The TMNT book's equipment section is relatively slim, but does have lots of lovingly rendered pictures of ninja weapons.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We rolled up the money we have to spend during step one, so now we flip forward to page 63, where we’ve made an oddly smooth transition from the combat rules into the equipment section.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s worth noting, by the book as written, we might have some skill with weapons, but we haven’t actually chosen our weapon skills yet. In addition, we have a bunch of other things that we can buy for skills that we don’t have yet. Again, smart players realized that you should pick skills first, and it’s not actually made entirely clear in the book’s layout that we’re actually supposed to buy equipment now or later, but at least one version of the character creation steps tells us to do this third, so here we are.</span></p><br /><h4 style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Step Four: Alignment</span></h4><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are seven different alignments, but, realistically, you’re, like, ten years old - you’re probably picking from the Selfish or Good alignments, of which there are four. I genuinely dislike alignment systems because, as here, they give you an ethos, and a poorly defined one, rather than giving you individual drives that you can use to determine your character’s ethos. As we did back in the day, we’re going to ignore it.</span></p><br /><h4 style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Step Five: Experience</span></h4><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thanks to Dungeons and Dragons, a lot of RPGs had a level-based system, where you start weak and, through play, become considerably more powerful. TMNT goes from level 1 to level 15 and, thanks to the increases in skill, hit points and other traits, a difference of just four or five levels can make a character practically untouchable by those of lower levels.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As with other major concepts in this game, this is presented in a patchwork quilt. We first get two pages of philosophical musing, accompanied by two charts. A little more than 40 pages later, we get a single page that tells us combat skills and how they’re modified by level. Other references to level and experience are scattered throughout, most especially in the next section.</span></p><br /><h4 style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Step Six: Skills</span></h4><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Skills are … a mess. They’re percentile based, from 1%-98%, modified by your attributes and sometimes your background, animal type, level, and probably some other factors I’m currently blanking on. There’s a lot of math.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You can get skills in everything from fishing to explosives, but in a game that’s based on a comic book about a group of people tracking down bad guys and following clues, the only real investigate skill is Tracking. Well, there’s one other skill that sounds useful - “Intelligence” - but it’s mentioned in just one spot and doesn’t get written up, at all, so we have no idea how it works. It’s also the name of one of our eight attributes, so perhaps that’s for the best.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That skill shows up as an item in a “skill program,” a small suite of skills that you might be able to pick as an option depending on what you rolled for background or mutation cause, and is copied and pasted from a different Palladium RPG, but only the description of the skills made it into this book. I didn’t check to see if all of the skills show up here, or if all of the skills in the main list can, in fact, be selected, because I have things I need to do other than write this blog post. I’m going to assume that this isn’t an isolated incident.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are physical skills that boost your physical attributes, like Body Building and Gymnastics. If you take enough of them, you can boost your attributes quite high, which seems appropriate for a game that’s heavily focused on physical combat. I generally focused on getting as many of these skills as possible.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Another branch of skills deserves a special mention, though, in the specific context of TMNT: Weapon Proficiencies. Honestly, if you don’t have a vested interested in how you can wield a kusari gama or naginta, why have you read this deep? This is, what, 3000 words about an RPG that’s almost 40 years old?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Anyhow, different backgrounds allow you to select from different sets of Weapon Proficiency (“W.P.”) skills. Like an ouroboros of suckitude, this leads us back to …</span></p><br /><h4 style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Step Three Electric Boogaloo: Equipment: The Quickening</span></h4><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like any good writer of horror, I have saved the most terrifying moment for the very end: the sai, the iconic weapon of one of the title characters, is listed in the equipment section, along with all the necessary stats. There is absolutely no indication here of which of the Weapon Proficiencies one takes in order to be able to wield it. If you look at Raphael’s entry at the end of the book, you’ll see “W.P. Sai” listed as a skill, but nowhere else in the book other than a chart used to generate Foot Clan mooks.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The common defense I’ve heard for this is that this is a book that trusts you to be able to make up your own skills as you need to, to fill the needs of your game. My counterargument is to simply say that I will need documentary proof that this was actually an intentional choice and not an editorial oversight, because the latter seems far more likely, given everything we’ve been through.</span></p><br /><h4 style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Rest Of The Game</span></h4><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Combat gets its own rather lengthy section to talk about exactly how one goes about kicking people in the face in this game. Palladium combat isn’t the worst RPG combat I’ve ever seen, but it’s on the list. It combines all of the math we’ve seen already, plus a roll of a twenty-sided dice and the addition and subtraction of a remarkable number of modifiers. In my day, most players drew out a little chart of the various kinds of attacks their characters were capable of and dreaded being asked to show their arithmetic. I didn't feel like telling them that I would absolutely never ask them to do so because I was pretty sure I couldn't figure it out either.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One question you might have about combat: What if you don’t have the requisite Weapon Proficiency? If your character doesn’t have W.P. Sword and there’s a katana lying there on the ground, can you pick it up and use it? There’s nothing to say you can, and only the fact that you don’t have W.P. Sword on your sheet to say you can’t. Depending on who’s running the game, they might let you use it with a penalty, or it might be like the 80s era point and click games where you keep clicking on something that ought to be clickable, but isn’t.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There is no clear section on how to use skills or when they come up. Some skills describe in detail how to use them, and what failure and success represent, while others just give a barebones description. “Forging,” for example, says that you can use it to make fake documents, and that “Skill forgers can recognize others counterfeits at a 6%.” That’s it. That’s what you get. If the person running the game agrees, you can make a hundred fake passports with a single roll, then make a second roll to make a slug coin that will bamboozle a Chuck E. Cheese arcade game, two tasks that are exactly as difficult, apparently.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There’s a section on building adventures that, yes, involves a number of new charts for making minions and bad guys, as well as a couple of short adventures and a list of characters from the TMNT universe, including the four shellheads themselves. There are some short sample adventures that basically present a group of bad guys and make some vague hand motions in the direction of how your players can meet up with them, and wear. There's a reference to how encountering one of the bad guys will be a lot worse if the players meet it in the sewers. We don't actually know why that's the case - there's nothing about how fighting in a sewer is any different from any other kind of fight.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There’s a set of rules for how to make your own Animal Type, rules that the book itself ignores, and that later books will laugh at maniacally.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And that’s it.</span></p><br /><h4 style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Final Thoughts: Why?</span></h4><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are a lot of “why” questions going through your head right now, I’m sure, but somewhere near the top is, “Why did people play this game?” The truth, more often than not, is that we didn’t. Most of us spent our afternoons rolling on endless tables, making character after character. Occasionally we’d pick out a favourite one and throw it up against a friend’s in a sort of gladiatorial combat, but it was mostly about making our own mutant animals, but it was mostly about using character creation as a game in and of itself.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I ran a few brief games with the system, and they were reasonably fun, but we were barely in the double digits and the opaque nature of the rules left us wanting something simpler. I sincerely believe that one could make a TMNT game that actually works, and could even get back some of the feel of that character creation mini-game.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There’s a popular position that a good RPG does absolutely everything that the people at the gaming table want it to, and I disagree. The same way that the most basic verb, “to be,” is irregular in so many ways, I sincerely think that we are naturally attracted to systems that don’t quite work. TMNT And Other Strangeness’ major problem is that there are so many things that don’t work.</span></p><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Still, though, in writing this up, I found I still have my copy of Transdimensional, which has </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">dinosaurs</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in it. Now, where are my dice …</span></span>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-46597048277632057992021-10-15T13:26:00.001-07:002021-10-15T13:26:17.034-07:00What 13th Age Does<p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">13th Age is from Rob Heinsoo and Johnathan Tweet, and is the combination of 3rd and 4th edition you might expect, but with some pretty major twists.</span></p><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">1. There are 10 levels, not 20.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">You ramp up, though - when you roll weapon damage, you roll a number of dice equal to your level, and might roll MORE dice depending on your class. HP ramps up as well.
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">2. There's no XP, you just go up a level every 13 encounters or so (this is actually the same as it should be based on 3rd and 4th encounter math).</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">3. Background instead of skills.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Players are encouraged to make these more specific than just "Butcher" or "Wizard." After all, if you're "Apprentice to Mal-vel, Butcher to the Archmage," then you can use that background not just for non-combat use of a cleaver, but for things related to wherever you decide Mal-vel, or issues related to the Archmage.
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">4. One Unique Thing.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Every PC gets one of these things and, whatever it is, it's always true. This could be "Last Son Of The House of Antresuga," with the campaign at least partly focused around that. I had a monk character who was Definitely Not A Bear. Yes, he was very large and hairy, liked eating honeycomb to get at the grubs and his melee attacks did slashing damage, but he was Definitely Not A Bear. It was just ... fun, a way of making him stand out from the crowd.
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">5. "Flat" Monster Design.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">The DM chooses one attack from the two, maybe three, that the monster has available, rolls a d20 and then does a flat amount of damage, plus possible extra effects. And that's IT. No long lists of spells or giant list of abilities, just a few, limited options. Which means, honestly, that the options are that much greater. You can have an ancient red dragon in a fight with three or four guardians, ALL of them with a unique set of abilities, and you don't get lost because while they're unique, they're limited to just those abilities.
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">6. The number on the d20 matters.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">This might be my favourite part - monsters will have notes like, "Natural even hit - 6 ongoing fire damage," or "Natural odd miss - slashing damage equal to monster level," and that's a reference not to the total of the roll, but just what shows up on the die face. Heroes have these as well and classes like the bard and fighter get LOTS of them, so just about every time the player rolls, they'll have options to choose from for what that means.</span><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">7. The escalation die.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fights should start with the players missing MOST of the time. Like, 60% of the time, but on the second round you put out a d6 turned to a 1 - everyone gets that bonus to their d20 rolls. The next round, it goes up to 2, then 3, until players get a +6. The net effect is that players learn to not use their best attacks on the first turn, when they're likely to whiff, and let's them take big, stupid risks.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">8. It assumes familiarity with f20.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">"F20" is the general term for games where you explore exotic locations where you have exotic encounters, with rolls of the d20 as the primary driver of success. 13th Age is by two professional game designers, and while they do explain what they're talking about in some frankly hilarious sidebars, it assumes that you're looking to play this game for is core activity. This is a disadvantage for people who aren't terribly familiar with games of this type, but a serious advantage for those who are. The system's not exactly stripped down, but it's laser-focused on its core activity, so you can quite easily bolt other subsystems onto it without impacting the math too much.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #2a2e2e; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif;">https://www.13thagesrd.com/</span></span></div>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-40058822017906380852020-07-14T18:34:00.000-07:002020-07-14T18:34:09.558-07:00The Parable Of The Two Women At The Coffee ShopAnd Jim came to the LORD and said, "Hey, I want to write a parable."<br /><div><br /></div><div>And the LORD said, "Cool, sounds good. Make sure it's short. Parables are short."</div><div><br /></div><div>Jim said, "But, aren't parables a thing that God does, not man?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"Well, biblical parables, sure, but you aren't writing a biblical parable, right?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"No, of course not."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Good. Hey, can I hear it? I like it when My children speak to me."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Wait, when did you start capitalizing 'My?'"</div><div><br /></div><div>"14th century or so. It fell out of fashion. Typeface issues."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Ah."</div><div><br /></div><div>...</div><div><br /></div><div>"Jim, the parable?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"Right! So, the moderate white church is like two women who agree to meet at a coffee shop. One of them orders them coffees and ..."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Names. If you only have two characters in a parable, they should have names, even if it's just a title, and as soon as you can get them in."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Ah. The moderate white church is like a Christian woman and an atheist woman who agree to meet at a coffee shop. The Christian woman orders coffees for both of them, and she's pretty sure she orders the very specific coffee the atheist woman asked for, but she's thinking so much about the conversation they're going to have that she thinks maybe she forgot."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Wow, what kind of conversation could do that?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"Oh, when a Christian person sits down one-on-one with a non-Christian person, their church will have taught them that they absolutely must bring up Christianity and 'preach the gospel to the unbeliever,' even if it doesn't make any sense in context."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Right, yeah, that. I interrupted you - go on."</div><div><br /></div><div>"So, the Christian woman is sitting there, rehearsing the conversation in her mind, trying to figure out what her friend might say in response and desperately hoping that the non-Christian woman follows the script, when the non-Christian comes in and sits down.</div><div><br /></div><div>'Sweet Jesus fuck, what a day,' she says ..."</div><div><br /></div><div>*winces*</div><div><br /></div><div>"What? She's a non-Christian. She swears. Heck, some Christians swear."</div><div><br /></div><div>"I know, it's just that you're kind of limiting your audience with that."</div><div><br /></div><div>"I'll use asterisks then. 'Sweet Jesus f***, what a day. Really need some caffeine,' she says, and sits. The Christian woman starts the conversation she'd planned as the non-Christian woman slugs down a mouthful of coffee beverage. The non-Christian woman doesn't hear the Christian woman's carefully planned opening because she was clearly about to talk about her day and says, 'What?</div><div><br /></div><div>The Christian woman repeats her opening salvo in the salvation fusillade, but is interrupted when the non-Christian woman throws up all over the table. Messily. The non-Christian woman says, 'you made sure they used soy milk, right?' and the Christian woman responds that she was more concerned with her eternal soul, and not her drink order. The non-Christian replies that she's not lactose-intolerant, she's actually allergic, and the room's spinning, so would she please get out her EpiPen. Then the non-Christian woman collapses to the ground and starts gurgling.</div><div><br /></div><div>The Christian woman says that she's concerned for the non-Christian woman's eternal salvation, and the non-Christian woman croaks out one final, 'Screw you, Barbara,' and dies."</div><div><br /></div><div>...</div><div><br /></div><div>"Wow."</div><div><br /></div><div>"What did you think?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"That was kind of a lot, Jim. Parables usually come with an explanation."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Oh, well, the moderate white church has kind of always been here, every since the 17th or 18th century or so. People who mean well, and occasionally do well, but often let bad stuff happen to people because it would seem awkward or rude to stop it. Sometimes they even cause the problem to begin with, but rather than taking ownership of their role, or acting to be better, they persist in focusing on salvation even while the problem is ongoing, or even getting worse."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Yeah, that does happen. Too often, honestly. It's not a bad parable. Too simplistic to be canonized, but I'm glad you told it to me. As I said, I like it when My children speak to me."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Thanks, LORD, that means a lot."</div><div><br /></div><div>"You're welcome, Jim. You always are."</div>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-85611462914699618872020-06-26T09:17:00.000-07:002020-06-26T09:17:29.744-07:00MST3K Top 25: #23, "Horror At Party Beach"When you think of MST3K, you probably think of a black and white 50s/60s scifi movie being riffed on by three figures in profile. There's a reason for that - they did a lot of black and white sci movies, but, well, they aren't good. They're also short, and pretty repetitive and frequently burdened with a whole lot of sexism. I mean, yes, Jack Frost has the father reassert his "natural" manly leadership, but it's based on traditional Slavic folklore - bad gender dynamics are to be expected, and the setting is pure fantasy.<div><br /></div><div>And, holy crap, every time I watch this movie, I forget just how racist it is. First, though, the plot. Sorry, the "plot."</div><div><br /></div><div>In a small coastal town, kids are partying on the beach while, out at sea, people dump nuclear waste overboard which immediately causes a human skull to mutate into a giant humanoid figure that looks like someone jammed a clam on top of an old-timey diving suit and then jammed a bunch of hot dogs in its mouth.</div><div><br /></div><div>The first victim of these monsters is, of course, the girlfriend of our main protagonist, a blue-eyed, blond-haired scientist-type. The rest of the movie is taken up with the scientists coming up with enough clues to figure out how to kill the monsters while they run around killing young women. Almost exclusively young women. Frequently really dull-witted, under-dressed young women. Yeah, it's pretty darned skeevy.</div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually they figure out that the creatures are vulnerable to elemental sodium, get a bunch of the stuff and ... throw it at them? Frankly, their delivery system appears to be government-issue clips of sodium exploding, as it is wont to do when exposed to water.</div><div><br /></div><div>With a running time of less than 80 minutes, they still manage to make a movie where basically nothing interesting happens. There are a few things though:</div><div><br /></div><div>1. The costumes are gloriously derpy. This isn't unusual for a scifi movie from this era, but they're given long, loving shots, in close-up, and more than once.</div><div><br /></div><div>2. The initial scene where our hero and his girlfriend encounter what Crow calls, "Jean Paul Sartre's biker gang." They're almost entirely non-threatening, are built up as villains for an entire scene and then just ... disappear after their one confrontation with the hero.</div><div><br /></div><div>3. The science talk. It's long, it's boring, it's deeply implausible and I just love all of it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Less loved are the scenes with the black housekeeper. They're dreadfully, horribly racist. Seriously, just gross.</div><div><br /></div><div>The host segments are excellent here, especially their surf rock spectacular, "Sodium," but otherwise there's not much here to recommend the movie.</div><div><br /></div><div>Rating: C-. This is a cookie-cutter black and white monster movie and it's just not a whole lot of fun to watch without commentary.</div>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-56981826101820386782020-06-24T18:51:00.000-07:002020-06-24T18:51:22.976-07:00MST3K Top 25: #24, "Jack Frost"Continuing in my reviews of some person's <a href="https://www.yardbarker.com/entertainment/articles/the_25_best_episodes_of_mystery_science_theater_3000/s1__31770650#slide_2">top 25 list of MST3k movies</a>, it's Jack Frost!<div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1321" data-original-width="960" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXQU3pahIzy8Xf4v6ltVcAKWdBwR4_K7Rt3vRck0OV5HeMYLmra5GfA77802zQMXBKwxGT_uaEGIwiBArJy4Bi_5xwTkfn6obR7VnChLrUAjHMzfzUV9L3P5XND3yGfCQqQibIkd2sJaI/w186-h256/MV5BYjE4ZDAxNmItODBjMy00YjVlLTkwMDMtZjYxZWY0YmI4ZDczXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTQxNzMzNDI%2540._V1_.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="186" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No, not you.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><div>Former a sort of troika with two other movies, Jack Frost is one of several Russo-Finnish productions that the boys and the bots endured, and it's probably my favourite of the lot.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>Produced by a film company with far more love of their native lands' mythology than they have moviemaking talent, this is, in its essence, a retelling of a whole bunch of Slavic stories, with its main set piece a story in which a young and powerful hero learns an important lesson about humility in pursuit of his lady love, a young woman who lives a Cinderella-like life of misery in a house with a horribly mother, a browbeaten father and an ugly stepsister who is the apple of her mother's eye. I mean, a beet of her mother's eye. Beets are Russian, aren't they?</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyhow, if you've ever read Joseph's Campbells, "The Hero With A Thousand Faces" or watched a George Lucas movie, you know about how this movie goes. It begins, as they always do, with a young, beautiful woman named Nastenka being threatened with a horrible beating if she doesn't knit a pair of socks in a single night, which means that she has to plead with the dawning sun to stay down for just a few stitches longer, while out in the woods her future husband Ivan beats up a bunch of bad guys, throwing their clubs into orbit, before ignoring the admonition of a mushroom-headed wizard and pridefully attempting to shoot a mother bear with her cubs in order to impress Nastenka, causing him to gain the head of a bear. Y'know, the usual.</div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKUpuMSm6wo0xlz5l3xzY2KAvoKH_Miyh7iG9-Y4zMrgQ1eYZUvIgs4P4g08L_7zjuFr0BDc89RfFCWPPy7-roTiRLRQyVXoFl_a5B6r_OegzAvoUoreUWguIkNgajiJLdOiinP0sJIvs/s500/51MXlQ5xaLL._AC_.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="338" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKUpuMSm6wo0xlz5l3xzY2KAvoKH_Miyh7iG9-Y4zMrgQ1eYZUvIgs4P4g08L_7zjuFr0BDc89RfFCWPPy7-roTiRLRQyVXoFl_a5B6r_OegzAvoUoreUWguIkNgajiJLdOiinP0sJIvs/s320/51MXlQ5xaLL._AC_.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not you either.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>So, cursed with the head of a bear, Ivan goes off to do good deeds in an attempt get back in the mushroom wizard's good graces, and hopefully in Nastenka's good graces as well. After driving off several groups of people with his horrifying bear-headedness, he encounters an old woman who needs helps getting to her home in the mountains. She rides him bear-back* all the way home, finding out when she gets there that she's blind. The mushroom wizard restores Ivan's fine-looking head and he tears off looking for Nastenka.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Nastenka's put back to the grinding wheel, working hard for her mother in an effort to get the ugly stepsister married off. It works out in one of the ways you expect it will - the mother does everything she can to hide Nastenka's beauty, Nastenka remains pure and faithful to herself and when she tries to sacrifice herself to help someone else (the stepsister, in this case), she's revealed to be as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside. Naturally, her mother commands her father to take her out to the woods to abandon her. Horrified at the thought, he decides to go against her, but rather than let him face her wrath, she sacrifices herself again and jumps off.</div><div><br /></div><div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY_5XuSiyoh4Q_kRpj9nN9SkLp08xAyVlowTOc-KW6TEVGRoM_R1OPVK-5q1d4oj67-S4jymXOHdWVxM-Sjj3krFQk_oQjGK9hv1sNEvfGgq4iWL0G7cG4F6AvJBEPC0qGnloNa1REgWk/s390/Jackfrost1964movie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="390" data-original-width="255" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY_5XuSiyoh4Q_kRpj9nN9SkLp08xAyVlowTOc-KW6TEVGRoM_R1OPVK-5q1d4oj67-S4jymXOHdWVxM-Sjj3krFQk_oQjGK9hv1sNEvfGgq4iWL0G7cG4F6AvJBEPC0qGnloNa1REgWk/s320/Jackfrost1964movie.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's the stuff.</td></tr></tbody></table>Then she meets Jack Frost! Finally! Near the end of the movie! He's actually a pretty nice guy in this iteration, basically just a dude responsible for bringing on winter with a magic staff that you must never touch or you fall into eternal slumber. He takes her off to his place to warm up, then takes off, leaving behind his staff because of course he does.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Ivan can't find his beloved and so consults one of my favourite characters in all of folklore: Baba Yaga. She flies across the sky in a mortar piloted by a pestle and lives in a cabin that runs around the land on chicken feet. She's basically immortal, is always cranky and is typically either the villain of the tale, or the person who tells the hero what they need to know, but only after they beat her challenges.</div><div><br /></div><div>In this case, the challenge is evidently stuffing her into her own oven. A couple of times. Tough old bird, that Baba Yaga. He snags a magic sled and heads over to Jack Frost's where, if you've been following the plot at all, you know that Nastenka has touched Jack Frost's staff* and now sleeps in a deep, magical slumber. Does she awaken from it when Ivan confesses his love for her? Yes, yes she does.</div><div><br /></div><div>They return to town, with Jack Frost who, seeing how terrible the ugly stepsister and her mom are, drives the ugly sister away on a pig-driven sled with a dowry of ravens. And, of course, gender balance is restored and the henpecked husband is restored to being the head of his house as Ivan marries Nastenka in what amounts to a cutscene.</div><div><br /></div><div>Fin.</div><div><br /></div><div>Whatta Fin. The movie is ridiculous, but the skits are even better. Mike dresses up like Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance, Bobo and Brain Guy have a petty squabble after spending too much together, Crow gets turned into a bear and eats Tom Servo - it's just a great episode of MST3K all around.</div><div><br /></div><div>Rating: B+. It's not traditional Western filmmaking, and it's goofy as all heck, but it's also fun and fast-paced and is really supposed to make you laugh. I think that's what a lot of people miss about mythology in general - it's supposed to be funny. Odysseus telling the Cyclopes that his name is "Nothing" is supposed to make you laugh; Robin of Locksley being genuinely terrible in a fistfight is intended to make him a little mockable. The humour here is ... Finno-Russian, but it's supposed to be there, and I would watch this movie without Mike and the bots. Well, I would, except I've watched it about half a dozen times with them, so...</div><div><br /></div><div>* Yes, I see what I did there.<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table></div>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-65793017429706640282020-06-24T14:46:00.002-07:002020-06-24T14:49:14.755-07:00MST3K Top 25: #25, "Alien From L.A."<span id="docs-internal-guid-71042f64-7fff-1d75-0ef1-b3cc9844c27c"><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A while back, my wife sent me a </span><a href="https://www.yardbarker.com/entertainment/articles/the_25_best_episodes_of_mystery_science_theater_3000/s1__31770650#slide_2" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">top 25 list of MST3K episodes</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and we've gradually been working our way through them during quarantine, at the rate of one or two a week. The boys love Mike and/or Joel and/or Jonah and the bots, so it's a nice time to gather 'round and laugh together. Because Facebook is basically my living room and I generally end up talking about bad movies with people in my living room, imma gonna do that now.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> </p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The first movie on the list is "Alien From L.A.," a Golan Globus production directed by Albert Pyun. People who are at all into B-movies are already groaning and rolling their eyes - Golan Globus and Cannon Films are among the worst studios ... ever, really, and Albert Pyun was one of their favourite directors because he was cheap, and worked fast. He's probably best known for the 1990 Captain America movie, which is as terrible a movie as can exist and is a part of the genuinely terrible decisions that nearly drove Marvel Comics out of business.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> </p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That’s a story for another time, though, as there’s more than enough terribleness in “Alien From L.A.” for me to talk about. The movie came out in 1988, and is … loosely science fiction, so, of course, it had to have a gimmick. The first involves a shy, unattractive, nerdy heroine making a journey to the center of a hollow earth where she meets threatening weirdos who teach her the real meaning of self-esteem, such that when she returns to the surface, she is a bolder, more confident person.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlIaBPPn34tUe8R20Bn0d8CGwnYbXSSzqbtOvGmpcUC3-h8Sd323VUJMnCF9sY0OJ5iZCXFgkeIcDAjw_fS0gWi6VS_ZP5P4KKMJzskYexZNmVFxY_UhujaGjvSKD2kpY74ACsv5E8PvA/s2048/gettyimages-81990538-2048x2048.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1346" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlIaBPPn34tUe8R20Bn0d8CGwnYbXSSzqbtOvGmpcUC3-h8Sd323VUJMnCF9sY0OJ5iZCXFgkeIcDAjw_fS0gWi6VS_ZP5P4KKMJzskYexZNmVFxY_UhujaGjvSKD2kpY74ACsv5E8PvA/s320/gettyimages-81990538-2048x2048.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>The sec</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">o</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">nd, stranger gimmick, is that the shy, nerdy heroine is played by Kathy Ireland. Yes, that Kathy Ireland. In order to make us believe that Kathy frickin’ Ireland is unattractive, they dress her as frumpily as possible, give her glasses so massive and thick they could be used to focus an industrial laser and instruct her to talk in a high-pitched voice that sounds like some combination of nails on a chalkboard and a small child screaming. It’s genuinely the worst part of the entire part, and you’d better believe that Mike and the bots take every opportunity they can to make fun of it.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> </p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our movie begins with her dad falling to his apparent death “in Africa,” before cutting to Los Angeles where young Wanda Saknussemm (that is not a spelling error) is dumped by her hunky boyfriend (Don Michael Paul) because they’re incompatible. And, frankly, he’s right, because she’s freakishly annoying and he has at least the vestiges of a personality.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> </p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">She gets the letter about her father’s death, which leads to some immediate questions. Her father’s “death” consisted of going up a set of stairs in what looked to be an Egyptian tomb in the basement of an abandoned house, completely alone. I mean, saying that her father vanished would make sense, but the plot requires that she be pining for her father for the entire movie, so, here we are. By the way, as Mike and the bots point out, her emotional reaction to absolutely everything is staring absently into the middle distance, so we don’t get much actual pining. This is par for the course with a Pyun film - the plot and characters just sort of mill around on screen for the running time of the movie, and then it ends. Aren’t you looking forward to the plot description?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> </p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well, it’s pretty short, really. Wanda heads off to “Africa,” where she goes to the same abandoned house and falls down the same hole at the top of the same stairs. She wakes up in an underground dystopia that looks like every single lava level that every single video game in the 90s had, with mostly red and purple rocky backdrops and periodic gouts of flame. There she and an underground dweller face off against a group of toughs where she learns that the underground is pretty much a hardscrabble dystopia, and loses the first layer of her unattractiveness - those massive glasses and her frumpy over-sweater.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> </p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And here’s where the meandering begins. She and the underground dweller, who inexplicably is attempting an Australian accent, go to the big city where it turns out that people from the surface world are wanted, for reasons. Well, sort of. For some reason, the powers that be don’t want anyone to be aware of the surface world, which is why they announce that she’s in the city over their public address system. After a costume change, she ends up hunted in a confusing series of “action” shots where she loses and gains at least two additional male love interests before finding her father and returning to the surface world. We close with her confronting her formal male love interest, now dressed as one expects Kathy Ireland to be dressed in the 80s - in a revealing bathing suit.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> </p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That’s … that’s it. That’s the movie, folks. It’s one hour and twenty-seven minutes of Kathy Ireland talking in a high-pitched, nasally voice and a whole bunch of questionable costume choices.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> </p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Final Rating: D-. This is a low rating, even for an Albert Pyun file, but even for him this is a cheap, generic sort of movie. There isn’t a single scene worth watching, really, and despite its short running time it still manages to feel plodding and slow. Do not watch without the MST3K crew, or an equal astute group of jokesters.</span></p><div><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-79714238619729341382020-06-07T15:54:00.001-07:002020-06-07T15:54:33.031-07:00BLM Nashua Vigil<div>(I did my best to write down all of the names of the speakers, but I'm sure I got some spellings wrong. If you're reading this and have any corrections, please drop them in the comments. My goal here is to amplify the voices I heard, and I cannot do so nearly as effectively if we don't know whose voices they are.)</div><div><br /></div>Last night, on June 6th, I was the guest of some very gracious hosts. I went to a vigil hosted by Black Lives Matter Nashua and, well, that makes me a guest. The meeting was partly for me, but it wasn't about me. I get that this makes some people uncomfortable, the notion that they're not the center of things, but, as I said, they were gracious and ... well, right to do so.<div><br /></div><div>The vigil was at Greeley Park on Concord Street, which the city closed off for the duration. Not only was Concord Street lined with cars, but I and my companion noticed that basically every single side street was well. Somewhat amusingly, there were still spaces at the park itself, but we allowed that it was all right as they'd need them for some of the more elderly attendees, as well as those with families. There were easily over a thousand people in attendance, after all.</div><div><br /></div><div>Everyone took some pains to keep socially distant, and everyone was masked. I saw a fair number of people who had their noses sticking out the top of their mask, but, well, that's gonna happen. We're new to this, we're all new to this.</div><div><br /></div><div>Police presence was minimal - I spotted six officers, and three or four plain clothes officers, and the chief of police was also present. About halfway through the event, a helicopter began circling overhead - I never got a good look at it, but I suspect it was a news helicopter as there was a persistent, though relatively small media presence.</div><div><br /></div><div>We took up position under a tree with some friends from work and waited for the event to get underway.</div><div><br /></div><div>First of all, I mentioned this on Facebook, but if you really think that BLM is funded by George Soros, let me assure you that the man is a skinflint on a level that would make Scrooge McDuck think he was a too tight in the purse-strings. They couldn't get the first mic to work, and Jordan, the organizer, attempted to rally the crowd by yelling through a vastly undersized megaphone. He introduced two clergy members, whose names I didn't get, and, well, the first guy didn't have any problems at all.</div><div><br /></div><div>He prayed for peace, for understanding, for change and for the Lord's guidance. The second clergy person tried to use a megaphone with her mask on. It worked about as well as you'd expect, which is a shame.</div><div><br /></div><div>The first speaker was Annie Kuster - as I said to my travelling companion, "Hey, it's that lady from my voicemail!" - and while I fault her for a lot of things, I can't fault her for enthusiasm. She charged the stage with that janky mic in hand and belted out a greeting to everyone, ending with a cry of, "Black Lives Matter!" Everyone applauded, as you do, and a guy up front jumped up and started trying to lead a chant of "All Lives Matter."</div><div><br /></div><div>He was escorted from the premises by a lone officer. As I observed later, I suspect he was not arrested for anything, but that was entirely within his control. Jordan took the stage again and that was when it was made clear to the non-Black folks in the crowd that they were guests in the space tonight, and this was a place for Black voices and experiences. Which is fair. I mean, it's in the name of the event and everything, so it shouldn't've been a surprise to anyone.</div><div><br /></div><div>The first speaker was Melanie Levesque, senator for the 12th District of New Hampshire. She spoke in measured tones about the Pettus Bridge march during the Civil Rights era, tied it into the demonstrations in the wake of George Floyd's death and wrapped back around to talking about the systemic issues from the 60s that persist into the present day. While she said that, "the vast majority of law officers are good and just," they are part of a system that makes racial disparity inevitable. She closed with a quote from Barack Obama, "Don't boo, vote."</div><div><br /></div><div>Next up was Jim Dunchess, the mayor of Nashua, who read a prepared proclamation. I haven't been able to find the text of the proclamation as of this writing, but it was good to see a high official of the city present there. He was calm and conciliatory, every measure a politician, but the sort that seems to actually be getting good done in his city, to look at his record.</div><div><br /></div><div>Third was Linda Gathright. She spoke for only slightly longer than Annie Kuster, but spoke powerfully. She is the Clerk on criminal justice for the town, and asked that anyone with concerns about interactions with the police let her know about those issues. She called for us, and for the BLM movement to focus on "actionable policies and reforms," ending her speech with the admonition that "black lives are not disposable."</div><div><br /></div><div>Shoshanna Kelly spoke fourth, and while the others certainly were emotional at times, she started by telling us, "I'm going to try to get through this without crying," and seemed to manage to do so only by speaking with great passion. She talked about George Floyd's daughter saying, "Daddy changed the world," and charged all of us to prove her right. She also spoke in less than glowing terms about the president, and said that "A leader is not elected ... a leader is what you do," and charged us with things that we could do to lead. It was getting dim out at this point, and I was writing in a tiny notebook, so I might've missed one or two, but the gist is:</div><div>1. Buy from a Black-owned business</div><div>2. Donate</div><div>3. Read a book from a black author</div><div>4. Listen</div><div>5. Come to a Community Conversation*</div><div>6. Talk to your kids</div><div>7. Ask questions</div><div>8. Vote.</div><div>On that last one, she commented that, "voting is the difference between fighting the system and changing the system." She closed with, "Black lives are worth it, and America is worth it."</div><div><br /></div><div>Elaine Davis then came out and sang, "Rise Up," a capella, over a janky microphone on a warm, windy early summer day. She killed it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Next was Grace Kandecki, who was introduced as a "youth," but carried herself with enviable poise. She was born in the Congo, but spent most of her life in the States. She talked about systemic racism as being an abstract set of standards, cultural norms and laws that produce unequal opportunity for people "of colour," and spoke against increase militarisation.</div><div><br /></div><div>Kurt Burtram might've been my favourite speaker of the night, if I had to choose. He used humour in the best possible way: to disrupt. His jokes were only occasionally intended to lighten the mood and were usually aimed at the non-Black members of the audience as a friendly but pointed barb. He talked a lot about his family and friends, his personal experiences with racism in New Hampshire. As he put it, "I know who I am: I am not a threat to you." He closed with what seemed to be a gag, doing a genuinely terrible impression of Louis Armstrong as he croaked out, "What A Wonderful World," throwing in jokes about how he'll "only see friends shaking hands after Covid." When we were done singing with him. He put the mic back on the stand and said, simply, "And I think to myself, 'what a wonderful world.'" And left.</div><div><br /></div><div>Jaden Smith followed up with a poem, whose title I didn't catch. The overall theme was pondering the notion of living in a "world where everyone's colour blind," and how that wouldn't fix the problems that we think it would, ending with a stanza in which she exclaimed her pride and self-worth.</div><div><br /></div><div>Next was Kendall Reyes, a former NFL defensive end. He spoke unguardedly about his own failures to properly serve the Black community he came from, but said, "We're all here because we want to do better," ending with an admonition that everyone there donated $10 to a cause, or spent 1 hour a week volunteering, we could make a difference.</div><div><br /></div><div>Nala Doyle was not soft-spoken as she exclaimed that the problem with police wasn't a few bad apples, but a rotten tree, and advocated for demilitarisation of the police and the removal of qualified immunity.</div><div><br /></div><div>Samantha Searles, the Communications Director for Black Lives Matter Nashua, gave a memorable introduction: "I came from black slaves that could not be killed, a Cherokee who would not be moved, and a white man who loved a black woman before it was legal." She never let the foot off of the gas, going hard after the racist comments of Manchester alderman Joseph Kelly Levasseur, the current president and a lynching in Claremont*. She ended with the argument that, "If you really want change, vote or, better yet, run for office yourself. With what happened in 2016, lack of experience or ability is no longer an argument."</div><div><br /></div><div>Hutch Mosely is an 8th grader and he's kind of incredible. He spoke with gravitas and ability well beyond his years when he said, "We can be angry all we want, or we can stand up and make a change," closing with a quote from Barack Obama: "We are the change we seek."</div><div><br /></div><div>Alana Shoat opened with thanks to the crowd, saying, "I've never felt to at home in my community and I've been her my whole life." She talked about the inadequacy of a single month, the shortest in the year, for Black History month, and that the struggle for civil rights was, "not about black people versus white people anymore, or about left versus right anymore, it's about all of us versus injustice," closing with the observation that, "All lives cannot matter until black lives do."</div><div><br /></div><div>The closing speaker was Jamila Ashanti Scale, who read from a statement that was very powerful and moving - my pull-quote was an admonition to the spirit of George Floyd that "justice will be served and you will not be forgotten." As she spoke, a rainstorm started, and a rainbow formed behind the bandstand she spoke from.</div><div><br /></div><div>The event closed with a series of statements from Jordan, the organizer of the event, recapping a lot of the points already made, and observing, "We can boo and vote; I think we can multitask," and talked extensively about his radicalization at the death of Sandra Bland, and how mobilized he and the rest of his online friends felt in that moment.</div><div><br /></div><div>Throughout the even, the victims of injustice were named almost a hundred times - George Floyd, Ahmad Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Philando Castile, Tamir Rice, Sandra Bland and a dozen others.</div><div><br /></div><div>Apart from the one gentleman who tried to disrupt the event, is was entirely peaceful. I've felt more threatened picking up take-out, which makes me think of Alana Shoat, and makes me hope for a day when she can feel the kind of security I'm privileged to feel every day.</div><div><br /></div><div>* Police found there was no hate crime because the other kids had put the loop of rope around their necks too, there wasn't proof one of the other boys pushed the black boy with the intent of hanging him, and there were no racial epithets on that specific occasion, although there had been in the past.</div>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-7389126386895867472020-06-01T18:17:00.002-07:002020-06-01T18:17:46.983-07:00"Riots Are Complicated"I said this on Facebook and it was taken somewhat poorly, as it's not a blanket condemnation of riots.<div><br /></div><div>I won't condemn riots.</div><div><br /></div><div>They aren't nice, they are polite, but they are periodically necessary, if you look at history. I mean, Spartacus? The hero of the movie Spartacus? The hero? He started out by leading a riot. Well, I mean, we call it a rebellion now, but it was a riot. What he did was illegal, and the people that he fought against were the duly and properly empowered structures of society, and he tried to stab them in the face.</div><div><br /></div><div>One could argue that what he did was just, in the long arc of history. One could argue that it was right, in the end, but at the time? He was a rioter. He's one of the many revered and beloved rioters in history.</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, we are distant enough from the riot to distanced from the damage it caused and the lives that we lost, and we're definitely not the Roman Republic. I mean, senators don't even wear togas anymore, except in their frat boy stage.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, that doesn't mean that public violence in protest of authority is always and ever a good thing, but it does mean that I won't condemn all riots, particular ones that are y'know, ongoing. I'm pretty sure the Roman people weren't terribly pleased with the Third Servile War at the time.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now some people have brought up looting as being the especially bad thing here but, y'know what? They divide into three basic groups:</div><div><br /></div><div>1. Outside actors. We know that there have been a bunch of people not associated with Black Lives Matter or any other organization behind the protests who've been looting, vandalizing and otherwise rampaging, some of them with the specific intent of making the protests violent. They're gross and awful, and they need to be stopped. In a lot of cases, we're actually tracking them down and arresting them, like the racist yahoo who set fire to a courthouse in Nashville.</div><div><br /></div><div>2. Opportunists. Yah, I know, I'm supposed to angry with them because it's unjust, but unless and until Jeff Bezos looses his purse-strings to pay his people a living wage, I remain unconfused as to who's stealing the most wealth and property.</div><div><br /></div><div>3. Activists and protesters. It's been said repeatedly that "these people," the regular activists and protesters who succumb to the urge are "hurting their cause." I'm going to keep this as simple as I can: In a world where four men killed a man in broad daylight, and only one of them is currently under arrest, and only after massive public pressure, after unjust death after unjust death, after being told that they can't kneel during a song, they can't speak from a stage, they have to protest just so, behave just so, with no real change, how much more "hurt" do you think their cause can be?</div><div><br /></div><div>Riots are complicated. We might not want them to be, but they are.</div><div><br /></div><div>And, yes, violence doesn't solve anything - what it does do, is make new problems, and sometimes those problems have a clearer solution than what was there at first. Is that going to be the case this time? We don't know. We can't know, because we're in the middle of this thing. I hope I'll see you on the other side.</div>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-51574386696127665402020-05-25T07:19:00.000-07:002020-05-25T07:19:08.744-07:00Memoriam(Note: This post has some videos embedded, and one sound file. They are relevant to what I'm saying. You don't have to listen to them all but, well, you'll miss bits if you don't. Most are songs, if that helps. I should also note: I'm not always the narrator in these clips.)<br />
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I miss my grandfather on days like today. He was clever, funny, articulate and, most of all, fearless. He spoke his mind clearly and boldly, and without an excess of words.<br />
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He fought in WWII, where he served as a radio operator, and he simply hated war and regarded it as the worst possible state of man. He was glad to have served because if there was a potential for a worse state, he felt strongly it would be life under Axis rule, but he hated war. It might be the best lesson he taught me. Well, that, and how to keep from slicing my tee shot.<br />
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Today is Memorial Day. It's not <i>my</i> holiday, in the larger sense, because it's an American holiday when one remembers the veterans who've died, whether in war or after. As I understand it, the day's near the end of May because the weather's decent and it gives one a chance to visit the graves of those veterans, to tend to their graves and leave flowers and such. Thus its original name: Decoration Day.<br />
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The rough Canadian equivalent would probably be Remembrance Day, placed on the Monday of the week in which November 11th falls. That day is known in some places as Armistice Day, commemorating the day that World War I officially ended. The Armistice had been under discussion for some time, of course, and was really just the formal recognition of the end of hostilities.<br />
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Right to the end, the generals and men in the back offices continued to give perilous and fatal orders the men in the field. They were, after all, just men in the field. Plenty more where they came from. The last formal casualty, on the British side, was 90 minutes before the signing, but unofficially, deaths continued until the 14th, as news spread.<br />
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Nasty bit of business, that war, but they all are. All of them. We like to talk about "good wars," but while there might be some wars that don't kill quite so many bystanders, where mostly only the bad guys die and most of the good guys live, we haven't had a "good" war yet. And then there's talk of "just wars." Don't get me started on "just wars."<br />
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"Just war theory" seems to mean, "Killing people by the shedload as usual, but it's okay because we feel bad about it this time."<br />
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And don't get me wrong, sometimes wars need to happen, the same way that sometimes cancer treatments need to happen. But celebrating war, lauding those who participated in them merely for participating in them, acting as through peace came about just through the violent conflict and not through the negotiation of peace, I can't do that.<br />
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No soldier has ever died to "defend our freedoms." They've died because someone, somewhere, screwed up and now they have to go out and die while everyone else figures out how to unscrew things again, until the next time. It's not nearly as romantic when phrased that way, though. Reducing their actions to "defending freedoms" sounds so very ennobling.<br />
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So, given all that, given my deep and abiding hatred for warfare, how do I "celebrate" Memorial Day? I remember. I remember the cost of human stupidity, of stubbornness, of brutish, reflexive nationalism, a cost measured out and paid for in blood. The blood of soldiers, but also the blood of civilians, of innocents and villains and everyone across the great, majestic stretch of humanity.<br />
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Don't take this as hostility toward soldiers, or those who've served in war as a civilian. I mean, my grandfather was right. As terrible as World War II was, it was the best of a bunch of bad options. I know, however, that some will say that because I don't want them to die in something as stupid as war means that I hate them. As though one must hate firefighters if one hopes for a day when housefires are a thing of the past.<br />
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To be specific, though, I think of nurses who died on their feet from exhaustion, trying so hard to keep death at bay that they didn't see the reaper sneaking up on them. I think of the young soldiers who died at the first moment of the charge, a bullet passing from the front of the skull and out the back, sending then to the dirt, forever. I think of the children who died in a stranger's basement, huddled in a corner when the roof came down and staved in their skull or crushed their chest as indifferent violence rains down overhead.<br />
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If I want to get really fuming angry, I wonder if that nurse had a beautiful sonnet in her head that she never got down on paper. Did the soldier have someone at home whose heart would break forever at the news of his death? And the children. God, the children.<br />
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I remember. I memorialize. I hope.<br />
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<a href="https://soundcloud.com/jim-roberts-223408216/the-war-prayer">https://soundcloud.com/jim-roberts-223408216/the-war-prayer</a><br />
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Mark Twain's War Prayer was about a specific pair of wars, but it really doesn't matter. We found more of them later. We always do.<br />
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Once more into the breach.<br />
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<br />Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-41935984974003556952020-05-23T16:55:00.001-07:002020-05-23T16:55:22.109-07:00My favourite campaignsMy wife tagged me into a Facebook post from someone looking for ideas for D&D campaigns, specifically asking us to share our favourite campaigns. I started typing up a Facebook post, but,<br />
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These campaigns are in chronological order, as best as I can remember them. This isn't a comprehensive list, these are just the campaigns I learned something from. Most of my campaigns were unnamed until after college, but I've invented names here, where I could. I should not that these are all campaigns I ran - pretty much from the beginning, I was a GM, not a player, unless someone had a new system or concept they wanted to play.<br />
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Name: White Plume Mountain<br />
System: AD&D (pre-published module)<br />
Inspiration: I was at a birthday party and a friend pulled out this cool book he'd found in his brother's room. It was some kind of game, and he knew his parents didn't like it (It was the 80s, and we were kids in a private Christian school - yeah, Satanic Panic was in full swing.) They couldn't figure it out, and I was the weirdly social one, so I sat in a corner until I sort of figured it out.<br />
Synopsis: I honestly don't remember - I believe it was pretty much just a straight-up, "explore this location and take everything that isn't bolted down," adventure.<br />
What I Learned: You might notice that I didn't have a Player's Handbook. That is correct. I had the adventure module, and the portion of the Fiend Folio my friend could sneak out of his brother's room. We kind of winged it with the dice we gaffled from a Yahtzee set and had a lot of fun.<br />
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Name: Justice Machine<br />
System: Heroes Unlimited (pre-published sourcebook)<br />
Inspiration: While I'd picked up various RPG books over the years, it was hard to get a group together to play them. One of my friends read the Justice Machine comic, and I had the book for the main system, so I picked this up at a game shop.<br />
Synopsis: I never actually found out.<br />
What I Learned: Never pick up a sourcebook just because you THINK your friend will like it.<br />
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Name: The one where we play mutant animals<br />
System: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles And Other Strangeness<br />
Inspiration: The cartoon, initially, but the book is based on the original comic books, which were VERY different. Still good, just entirely different.<br />
Synopsis: I ran a lot of different games in this system, most of them only lasting a couple of sessions, but generally the all took place at or out of Project: Manticore, an agency that used mutant animals as agents. Think of it as being OWCA, but with time travel once I got Transdimensional Turtles.<br />
What I Learned: Making characters can be as much fun as playing them. System only gets in the way of player fun if the GM allows it to, but system can get in the way of GM fun by sucking.<br />
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Name: The Ballad of Jack Generess And The Airships<br />
System: D&D (homebrew)<br />
Inspiration: I fell in love with JRPGs and decided to try playing a JRPG-inspired campaign with a bunch of guys I met in my freshman year of high school.<br />
Synopsis: I created the hex-grid world-map before I did anything, but I mostly improvised the dungeons and their contents, although I usually had a pretty good notion of what the boss was going to be. It was a pretty straightforward adventure, with the heroes rising from 1st through 12th level, ending with a massive fight between the party and their allies vs. the cyberlich and his minions. There were evil gnomes with jetpacks, flying squirrels, great ballads sung to the tune of Talking Heads songs, the whole nine yards.<br />
What I Learned: This was the first time I played a campaign from beginning to end with the same group of people, playing the same group of characters or at least a continuous line of characters. I learned a whole lot from this game, including how to say "yes, and" off of the improv stage, how to imbalance a game properly, and a lot about how to manage player expectations. Also, a lot of the character names and place names I'd use in future campaigns started here.<br />
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Name: The Mothman Saga<br />
System: Werewolf: The Apocalypse<br />
Inspiration: UFO culture, specifically John Keel's, "The Mothman Prophecies"<br />
Synopsis: I threw out 90% of W:tA's mythos and instead argued that the world was going to hell in a handbasket because the ultraterrestrials were fighting, using Earth as their field of battle.<br />
What I Learned: This was the first WoD game I'd run, and while I'd played in a few one-offs of more narrative games, it was the first game that explicitly gave me permission to tell players that they succeeded just because success was more interesting than failure. Also, it was one of the few games I'd run that used real-world figures and events.<br />
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Name: The War Of Skulls<br />
System: Rifts<br />
Inspiration: The cover of the Rifts gamebook. I wanted a game that ended with my players fighting a giant sluglord dude surrounded by women in gimp suits. ... Look, I was young and stupid, I'm not going to defend it.<br />
Synopsis: I can't even tell you. Check out the next section.<br />
What I Learned: Never run a game with more players than you can count on two hands, unless you really know what you're doing. Never assume that just because a book is designed by the same dude as a book you already own that they're even similar (Rifts was designed by the guy who did TMNT - he didn't do any better this time around). Never, ever improvise mech combat.<br />
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Name: Chaos Rising<br />
System: 2nd ed D&D<br />
Inspiration: I had the characters first, and so just built a challenge around that.<br />
Synopsis: A dark lord rises in the West and the heroes have to go out and stop him. I made him a racist and a bigot, though, tying into the history courses I was taking at the time, which made him memorable.<br />
What I Learned: College students basically game just like high school students, and still like stabbing stuff in the face, mostly.<br />
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Name: Savage Species<br />
System: 3rd ed D&D<br />
Inspiration: The 3rd edition sourcebook of the same name, and the phrase describing the X-Men as being "in a world that hates and fears them."<br />
Synopsis: In a world of magic and wonder with a variety of mythical creatures abounding, the players track down a demon lord to a high tower and are killed, placed in a healing sleep and wake three hundred years later in a world where there's basically just humans left, and the demon lord is still around and needs killing.<br />
What I Learned: Playing with bigotry in games is only slightly less dangerous than playing with matches near flammable objects, third edition has limits, but if you ignore them, they do kinda go away.<br />
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Name: Ptolus<br />
System: 3rd ed, and later 3.5 ed D&D<br />
Inspiration: The sourcebook of the same name. From which I took the title of the name, a handful of stat blocks and not a whole lot else, although I'd use bits of the book in various other campaigns in the ensuing years.<br />
Synopsis: There are dungeons beneath the city of Ammeara, and they're leaking a dangerous amount of magic, with monsters running to the surface to escape it.<br />
What I Learned: We actually spent about half of the game on dimension-hopping, which was a lot of fun. Also, I had my first gender-fluid PC, which was cool.<br />
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Name: Asengervald<br />
System: Pathfinder<br />
Inspiration: Pathfinder with all the fun parts, except for gold pieces and XP.<br />
Synopsis: In the far north of my campaign world, there's a space I labelled Asengervald, and that I just never visited. For about three decades. So we did! Vikings, gnolls, "squeezings," all sorts of fun to be had.<br />
What I Learned: Loki is a jerk, Pathfinder is vastly improved if you just give everyone a bonus to the appropriate stat at the point in the level where the game tells you they ought to give them a magic item that gives them that bonus instead, players are more cunning than you can guess, resource management is fun if you aren't always managing the same resource.<br />
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And that's about it, for now. I've run a couple of campaigns since, but they are memorable at this point because, well, they're barely memories.Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-49911248197809019152020-04-11T08:59:00.001-07:002020-05-12T15:32:54.168-07:00Beyond The Mistgates"Beyond The Mistgates" #1 published in April of 1994. It was at least in part a response to their competitors' efforts to bring in older readers with more mature content and sophisticated storytelling. The intent was to focus on Nightmist and the various extradimensional entities and characters that had showed up in her titles over the years.<br />
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The title was published as a bimonthly 48-page prestige format book with minimal advertising, a 24-page Nightmist story and then two shorter back-up stories. The problem was that Nightmist was already featured heavily in Darkwatch and Tome of the Bizarre, and keeping the stories in continuity while connecting them as a complex narrative proved to be too much. By issue 9, Nightmist was relegated to the back-up stories, with the main story being taken up by a rotating set of plots, some derived from the backup tiles. There were four main stories:<br />
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1. The Vagabond - In each story, some villainous but generally mundane character would get their supernatural comeuppance, with the strong implication that it was caused by, or put into motion by a mysterious character calling itself the Vagabond. The stories often had a close connection to some of the Golden Age horror tales, but with new twists and art that, while still distinctly pulpy, was overall cleaner and more precise.<br />
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2. The Olde Curiosity Shoppe - Set in Rook City, the Shoppe and its employees handled mystical artifacts that brought great power, but at great price. The characters were nicely drawn and the plots well-handled, but in the end the only gimmick was a "gadget of the week" that would not have been out of place in a Silver Age title and fan reaction was lackluster.<br />
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3. Jackdaw's Fury - Purportedly the tale of a British-born Native American taking supernatural vengeance on the "white man," the story was praised and hated in equal measure by people who found the title to either be a more sophisticated take on the extreme violence in the mainline of Sentinels Comics, or a pretentious and mawkish take on the same.<br />
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4. Purgatory - Part crime drama, part fairy tale, part teenage angst, Purgatory told the story of a trio of disparate characters and unlikely allies teaming up against a variety of supernatural forces in a town in the suburbs of Philadelphia.<br />
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The Olde Curiosity Shoppe lasted three issues for being discontinued, and The Vagabond was spun off into its own title, the first under the Mistgate imprint. The writer of Jackdaw's Fury quit the title and moved over to the esteemed competition in a snit that I don't think we have the space to elucidate completely. Purgatory effectively took over the title by issue 18 in 1997, and the comic was retitled for issue 21, when the number returned to 1 as well. There were still back-up stories, but those faded as well, and by issue 25 the title was now a monthly comic of standard length, and ran that way for 22 more issues before cancellation.<br />
<br />
The writing team, Sheila and Greg Arp, were incensed by the cancellation, claiming that editorial had told them they would be able to see their planned fifty issue through to the end. Fans, most of whom admitted that the quality of the art and writing faded as the series wore on, were likewise annoyed, and it wouldn't be until 2011 that the Arps would make a deal with Sentinel Comics to publish a four-issue limited series that wrapped up the plot.<br />
<br />
The Vagabond showed up briefly in the OblivAeon event in a massive attack against Borr the Unstable and appeared to have been killed in that fight, although that would hardly be the first time they'd been "killed."<br />
<br />
The Jackdaw ran through 2005, to diminishing returns, and the character continues to show up in various books, usually as a hyperviolent x-factor that complicates a hero's fight against a foe, including a brief stint when Jackdaw was trained as a ninja assassin by The Operative, a time that even fans of the characters often pretend never happen.<br />
<br />
None of the cast of Purgatory ever found real mainstream success, although Reckoning has teamed up with Fanatic from time to time and shown up in some supernatural comics, and it's at least implied that one of the TAs at Pauline Parson's university is Tantrum, grown up and with considerable control over her powers. A character named Tantrum also appeared as a recurring villain in a Visionary limited series, but given the difference in costume, personality and power set, it's generally held that this is a different character entirely.<br />
<br />
Kaj is currently in continuity flux - in the events of OblivAeon, she's one of many nature spirits that were depicted as destroyed by the actions of his Scions, however she showed up again in the final fight. Whether this was an otherdimensional version of the character, or whether she'd once again resurrected herself is unclear at this time. With the recent announcement of an Akash'Thriya solo series, fans of the character are hopeful that she'll emerge in a mainstream title soon.Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-4592069301654791702020-02-05T16:07:00.003-08:002020-02-05T17:23:10.282-08:00What I Think Of Nancy Pelosi Tearing Up Trump's Speech<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4-ZMM-hUrvh72YU8NyzChzc7wIc0G6OkVzEUM2bCjOOOamj2py2ckIX8gu2oe3oHQwPd7Npb3hxdVEwT_X7kYfi0NEBhrOT3NdYTCLlHrvjEbNJdUpAaMjS1DmC7qpVj8xIJjSaizdIM/s1600/x_lon_trump_151126.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4-ZMM-hUrvh72YU8NyzChzc7wIc0G6OkVzEUM2bCjOOOamj2py2ckIX8gu2oe3oHQwPd7Npb3hxdVEwT_X7kYfi0NEBhrOT3NdYTCLlHrvjEbNJdUpAaMjS1DmC7qpVj8xIJjSaizdIM/s320/x_lon_trump_151126.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I mean, for what it's worth, that's what I think of, every time someone talks about showing "decorum" or "decency" or says, "It's about civility."<br />
<br />
Yeah, what she did was indecorous and uncivil. Sure was. It's just, well, that's Trump lying while making fun of a disabled reporter. Both of those things, at once, with a few extra layers of lie added on to the first.<br />
<br />
For those who don't recall, he claims that he saw video of "thousands" of people singing and dancing on the roof of a New Jersey apartment building, celebrating the 9/11 bombings. No such video has ever been produced.<br />
<br />
In his defense, his sychophants instead seized on an article about a police investigation into a few people celebrating 9/11 on the roof of a building, an investigation that never went anywhere, and whose claims could never be corroborated. Trump actually never recanted his claim he saw it on video so he's at the very least lying to himself.<br />
<br />
In the picture above, he's talking about the article anyway, claiming that the reporter who wrote that article debased himself to apologize to him for altering his article after the fact. The reporter never altered the article, and there is no record of him speaking to Trump about the article. While telling this series of lies, he's mocking his disability. He has never apologized for it. He has never retracted any of his bald-faced lies. In fact, he claimed that he wasn't familiar with the reporter, despite the man having worked with Trump on a series of articles over many years, including multiple in-person interviews.<br />
<br />
It is one of a series of turduckens of deception the man's foisted upon us, but for me it stands out because it's so simply obviously, starkly awful.<br />
<br />
And, I get it, two wrongs don't make a right*. Speaker Pelosi had a bunch of options, up to and including just not inviting him to speak, as was customary prior to Woodrow Wilson. Honestly, as a Canadian in the States, it's weird to me how y'all spent so much blood and treasure to get out from under the rule of a pompous regent in order to, in a few short decades, reinvented the pomp and circumstance that surrounds a regency.<br />
<br />
Ultimately, though, as someone who's looking at the expiration date of his immigration visa as the time when I'm going to have to start seriously looking at what will happen if my status is not renewed**, I find myself very much not caring that it was indecorous and uncivil. There are a bunch of Facebook posts about the rudeness represented by Speaker Pelosi's actions, but, she didn't mock a disabled reporter. She didn't refer to countries as "shitholes." She didn't belittle a POW's captivity. She didn't falsely claim that immigrants bring "crime and filth." She didn't grift money from a children's cancer charity.<br />
<br />
Perhaps, <i>perhaps</i> you could argue that this is exactly why she ought to be civil, that we need to fight his rude incivility with "decent" behaviour, but there's a hard lesson I've learned over the course of time: being "civil" is nice, but "nice" isn't the same thing as kind, and when one person's incivility causes actual, measurable harm, responding with civility is appeasement.<br />
<br />
You might also make the intimation that by ripping up that by tearing up one copy of a man's speech she's somehow insulting everyone he spoke about, but that seems odd, especially given that her defense for doing so is essentially what I've been saying here - that speech was, like Trump himself, full of mistruths and outright lies, and not worthy keeping around. I get that. Most of these speeches aren't great. Since I started paying attention to them, around Clinton, I just read the transcript the next day as that's all that really matter anyway.<br />
<br />
The only argument that has any resonance for me is that it was a self-centered act and that, I think, has some validity, but it's not a particularly powerful one. You can complain about an act of self-centeredness performed to counter one of the most self-centered creatures in creation, a man who has said, simultaneously, that he doesn't think he's ever done anything that he needs forgiveness for, and that he doesn't like apologizing, but I'm not going to be paying much attention to your complaint.<br />
<br />
In the end, it's turned out to be a pretty successful gambit - in the aftermath, there's been little discussion of Trump's actual speech, so maybe the Dems are finally figuring out how to get the media's attention and hold it.<br />
<br />
So, that's it. In the game of politics, both teams scored some points that night, and everyone's arguing with the refs, again, even though nothing that happened during the speech actually broke any of the rules.<br />
<br />
* Or, as in this case, that multiple wrongs from ones person, and then one wrong from another don't make a right. This isn't a particularly useful idiom here, is it?<br />
** My son is on Medicaid, a publicly funded program. While the taxes I pay*** to the state and federal government more than cover the cost of the services he gets, this makes me potentially subject to having my reapplication denied. Yes, I could avoid this by becoming a citizen, but let's be honest, how welcome do you think you'd feel in a country that wants to kick you out for having the audacity to access the services your taxes pay for, but only because you're foreign?<br />
*** Of course immigrants, even undocumented immigrants, pay taxes. Sometimes directly from our paycheck, sometimes just the ones we all pay every day when we buy gas, etc.Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-71457887348035809062019-10-07T14:23:00.002-07:002019-11-02T18:20:05.030-07:00As yet unnamed crowd-generated Sentinels RPG characterBackground: Struggling<br />
Power Source: Experiment<br />
Archetype: Minion Maker<br />
<br />
Qualities<br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Close Combat 1d8</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Creativity 1d8</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Criminal Underworld 1d6</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Fitness 1d6</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Powers</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Part Detachment 1d10</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Shapeshifting 1d6</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Size-Changing 1d6</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Toxic 1d8</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Vitality 1d8</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><br /></span>
Green Abilities<br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Make Minion</span><br style="background-color: #fefefe; box-sizing: border-box; color: #141414; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif; font-size: 15px;" /><span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Create a Minion using Part Detachment. Reference the Minion chart to see what size of minion it is. Choose whether it can Attack, Defend, Boost, Hinder or Overcome. You can only use this ability in a situation conducive to shaping your strange, slimy form into novel shapes.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Power Up</span><br style="background-color: #fefefe; box-sizing: border-box; color: #141414; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif; font-size: 15px;" /><span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Boost another hero or one of your minions using Part Detachment. Either use your Max die or use your Mid die and make the boost persistent.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Unflagging</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">At the start of your turn, remove a penalty on yourself.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Principle of the Debtor</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Overcome a situation related to repaying your debt and use your Max die. You and each of your allies gains a hero point.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Principle of the Indestructible.</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">During Roleplaying: You ignore damage from unpowered close-combat weapons and attacks, such as clubs and non-powered fists, or basic ranged attacks, such as slings and arrows.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Yellow Abilities</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Misdirection - When a nearby hero in the Yellow or Red zone would take damage, Defend against that damage with your single Shapeshifting die, the redirect any leftover damage to a target of your choice.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Minion Formation</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Reduce any damage taken by the number of minions you have. Whenever damage is reduced this way, reduce the size of one your minions.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Throw Minion - Attack a minion using Size-Changing. The result of the minion's save Attacks a target of your choice.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">Minions</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Minion chart</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Result Minion Die</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">0 or less 1d4</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">1-3 1d6</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">4-7 1d8</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">8-11 1d10</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">12+ 1d12</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #141414; font-family: "segoe ui" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "oxygen" , "ubuntu" , "cantarell" , "fira sans" , "droid sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Autonomous The minion can take any of the basic actions, not just one. +1 or higher</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Burrowing The minion can tunnel through the earth. +1 or higher</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Explosive When the minion is destroyed, also remove a bonus or penalty of your choice. +2 or higher</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Pack The minion adds +1 to its Attack for each other pack minion attacking the same target this round. +2 or higher</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Reinforced The minion adds +1 to its roll to save. +2 or higher</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Harsh When Hindering, the target also takes damage equal to that penalty. +3 or higher</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Swift The minion rolls twice for its action and chooses the higher die. +3 or higher</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", sans-serif;">Turret When Attacking, the minion may split its die into two dice of smaller sizes. +4 or higher</span></span>Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-79516236539368434092019-10-05T15:58:00.004-07:002019-10-05T15:58:46.573-07:00The Bard - a Sentinels of the Multiverse RPG PCI'm putting some of my character designs up on my blog so that I can have them in a place that's publicly accessible, so others can give feedback and so that I can also know where they are. This is the first of a few recent creations.<div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Bard</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">With its sudden increase in size, Desoto’s had a commensurate increase in petty crime. Well, actually a greater than proportionate increase as the good people of the city desperately try to get enough good cops and law enforcement to handle things. Vigilantes have stepped in to fill some of the gaps, and few are as famous or popular as the masked, roguish Bard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Known as much for his pranks, like photobombing the press conferences of the district attorney or trolling the mayor on Twitter, as he is for his crimestopping efforts, The Bard remains one step ahead of the law and the criminals. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Background : Performer</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Power Source: Training</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Archetype: Close Quarter Combatant</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Personality: Jovial</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Disciplines</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Acrobatics</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1d8</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Banter</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1d8</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Close Combat</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1d10</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fitness </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1d8</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Persuasion</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1d8</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Stealth</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1d8</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Powers</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Agility </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1d10</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gadgets</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1d6</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Shock-Sword</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1d8</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Vitality </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1d8</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Green Abilities</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Cruel Aside</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Attack a minion using Banter. Whatever the minion rolls as defense Attacks another target of your choice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Flexible Strike</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Take any two actions using Close Combat, each using your Min die</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Offensive Strike</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Attack using your Shock-Sword. Use your Max die.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Principle of the Mask</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Overcome using knowledge from your civilian life and use your Max die.You and each of allies gains a hero point.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Principle of the Veteran</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Overcome a tactical challenge using knowledge of a previous conflict and use your Max die. You and each of your allies gains a hero points.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yellow Abilities</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Always Be Prepared</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Boost yourself using Vitality. Use your Max die. That bonus is persistent and exclusive. Then, Attack using your Min die. You may use the bonus you just created on that attack.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Combat Stance</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When you are attacked by a nearby enemy, the attacker also takes an equal amount of damage.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dual Strike</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Attack using Gadgets. Attack a second target with your Min die.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Flowing Fight</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Attack using Agility. Use your Mid die to Attack one extra target for each bonus you have. Apply a different bonus to each Attack.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Red Abilities:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Inspiring Totem</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When you use an ability action, you may also perform a second basic action using your Mid die on the same roll.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Last Word</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hinder any number of close targets with Banter. Use your Max die. End your turn elsewhere in the scene.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Out Ability: Boost an ally by rolling your single Banter die.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Green: 1d10</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yellow: 1d8</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Red: 1d8</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Health: 34/25/12</span></div>
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Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-42811137138471380362019-09-14T16:43:00.000-07:002019-09-14T16:43:09.864-07:00Care And Keeping Of Transgender Humans<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Wesleyan Quadrilateral</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Scripture - John Wesley insisted that the first and primary source of theological wisdom - which, in his estimation, constituted all wisdom - was God’s Word. In fact, he held that while the other three sources of wisdom can vie and compete with one another, Scripture should not.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Tradition - While he allowed that tradition does change over time, Wesley was ultimately conservative, and believed that traditional evidence should be seen as strong, and that older traditional evidence is more trustworthy than newer evidence.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Reason - We were made as reasonable creatures for a reason, in Wesley’s eyes, and while reason isn’t the sole purpose of human thought, the working of reason should be valued, and not disregarded.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Experience - Wesley wisely argued that all the reason, tradition and Bible-reading in the world can’t make you believe something you haven’t actually experienced.</span></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-5c0df00b-7fff-1185-c435-44bf461967b3" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Forced Empathy: Part One</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, my world came as close to falling apart as it ever has. Honestly, I’m not quite sure how I got through it. Many of my friend’s parents were fighting with each other, and they’d talk about “divorce” and “separation” in front of their kids’ house guests. If those words were spoken in my house, I wasn’t there, but every relationship felt strained - my mom and dad, my dad and I, my mom and I, my sister and, well, everyone. There were bright spots, too - a girlfriend, friends to game with, lots of good books.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The biggest thing was this feeling of . . . nothing. It wasn’t like being sad, or being angry, it was just this great, hollow nothing that would, without warning, leave me feeling listless, bored and disinterested. I tried to ignore it, figuring it was just part of being a teenager, but it seemed to be getting bigger. In a little less than a year, I’d be told that I had bipolar depression - the man who told me that would counsel me through it for the next four years. No drugs, just lots of talking and learning balance.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">This was late fall, and months before that day, and so I was sitting at home reading and trying to ignore how quiet and empty the house was on a school night when the phone rang. I walked to the kitchen and picked up the receiver with my left hand, a pencil with the right hand, ready to write down the message for my mom or dad.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I had a social life, of a sort, but it wasn’t one that involved a lot of people calling me at home. I was surprised, then, when the voice at the other end said, “What’s the haps, Jim? Can you talk?”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I didn’t recognize the voice, but I recognized the word choice - it was Kyle. Kyle and his family went to our church for a few years and he was, like me, an odd duck. Our parents tried to get us to be friends based on our mutual love of comic books. It didn’t work - he was a fan of Archie, Bugs Bunny and other funnies, and I was on a serious superhero kick. Still, we got along well enough, especially after we joined in our solidarity against Spire Comics.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The 80s was when Christian media producers seemed to give up on finding a distinct voice and decided to ape popular culture. At its best this gave us . . . umm. Something, I’m sure, I just can’t think of anything right now. (I can tell you that the worst it gave us was either Michael W. Smith’s “rap” on “Go West, Young Man,” or the Noah’s Ark video game.) Spire Comics did this with Archie Comics, to some limited success.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">For those not familiar with Archie, it’s the story of an oversexed redhead who’s pursued (and in turn pursues) two girls and is surrounded by a variety of teens, including Jughead, the social oddball, Moose, a dull-witted jock and Midge, an adorable, effervescent cheerleader. In that era, at least, it wasn’t exactly high art and was mostly just a chance for teens and pre-teens to read about someone whose social and emotional life was hilariously scarring. Spire decided to chuck out all that characterization and social familiarity in favour of nakedly proselytizing the reader.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Robbed of any natural emotional heft, the comics were pretty awful - characters made decisions based not on what a person might do in that situation, but what the reader needed them to do so they could wedge in a favourite Bible verse in the final panel. A well-meaning Sunday School teacher bribed Kyle and I toward good behaviour with the promised reward of comic books - one copy each of a comic in which Betty vied with Veronica for Archie’s affections only to take a 180 degree turn on the last page of the comic where she inexplicably decided she wanted to “date” Jesus instead. Seriously, there’s no intro to Christianity anywhere in the comic, she just changes character (and clothing style, going from typical teenage girl clothes to a clunky set of overalls) during a page-flip.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I thought it was pretty terrible, but Kyle seemed honestly scarred by it. My copy’s still lying around somewhere in my garage; Kyle tore his in half and threw it out. I saw him do it, and asked why he’d done it. The only explanation he gave was, “They don’t understand how people work.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Empathy ≠ Sympathy</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Empathy is an interesting thing. From what we can tell, it’s an emotional connection that’s only available for a handful of creatures in the world, and it’s sharply limited in most other species. If sentience can be defined in part as being aware of one’s own existence as an individual, then empathy can be seen as a sort of group sentience - the awareness that other people truly exist, with their own needs and emotions.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">A fair number of Christians seem to feel that empathy is an innate trait, especially for Christians, and that it’s unlimited. I think what they actually mean, though, is sympathy, which is similar, but different.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Sympathy, or “fellow feeling,” is the ability to find commonality with another person’s emotional state. Someone suffers the death of a parent; you did as well, some time back, so you feel like you can understand where they’re coming from, emotionally.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">This happened with a friend shortly after my mom died. We met up in the foyer at church and he said, “I know her passing hurts, but in a way it’s kind of a relief isn’t it?” Amazingly, I didn’t deck him, but instead asked, “What?” I’m guessing my pugilistic intent came across in my words or my body language because he immediately went on the defensive.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">He explained that his own mother had died a couple of years ago after a protracted battle with multiple sclerosis that had left her crippled and in constant pain. In fact, he went into a lot of detail about it - my pain forgotten, I spent the Sunday School hour helping him deal with some of the leftover experiences of those days.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">He sought an empathic connection, but could only get as far as sympathy - I would find people to talk to about my mother’s death, people who let my needs and emotions be my own, but it wouldn’t be with him.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Anencephaly (Or, Anatomy Gone Wrong)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Anencephaly is a condition that you shouldn’t Google. Just trust me on this one. It’s a rare condition where the majority of the brain simply doesn’t develop when the neural tube closes a few weeks into fetal development.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">There is no treatment, and there is no cure although regular intake of folic acid during pregnancy has been shown to reduce the chances of neural tube defects. No anencephalic child has survived to four years of age (you can do a decent amount of “living” with just a brain stem), and they rarely survive past the delivery room. With all the advances of modern medicine, some 70% are stillborn, and a good percentage die in the womb well before delivery, in the early to mid second trimester.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Forced Empathy: Part Two</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I told Kyle that I had literally nothing going on that night, which was true, and he asked if I could meet up with him at the local Tim Horton’s. His voice was simultaneously excited and sad, an odd combination - I knew that this wouldn’t be just any casual conversation.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I did a sort of internal emotional inventory that’s probably pretty common for most people in this situation - what issues am I dealing with right now, and do I have enough space left for another one? I concluded that I </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">might</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> have the remaining headspace, and told him, as excited as I could be, that I sure could.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">He told me he’d buy me a drink once he arrived and hung up. My heart sank. At sixteen, I already knew that if someone said that going out was their treat before you even left the house, and it was a platonic situation, they were probably about to drop something heavy on you. I hung up the phone, and sighed.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">On the way, I reasoned that the conversation couldn’t be </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">that</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> bad. Kyle’s parents were happy, his grades were good, and just last week he’d seemed very excited to tell me that his garage band was actually getting a paid gig. By the time I got to Timmy’s, I’d more or less resolved that he was just so happy that he wanted to share it with something.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I saw him over in the corner of the place right away, in a table that could only be accessed from a narrow path, and that he was facing the window. I immediately knew that I was wrong - he has something to tell me and he really didn’t want anyone else to know.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I slid into my seat and took the coffee he offered me. I was raising it to my mouth when he said, “I’m not sure I’m a . . . guy.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I put the cup down, slightly grateful for the chance to avoid sipping it, and looked at him. I’m sure I had something brilliant to say, somewhere in there, but nothing was coming out.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">“It’s a lot, I know,” he said. I nodded, vigorously. He went on to explain that as a consequence of some circumstances in his family, everyone was getting some testing done, and one of these tests had told them that he “wasn’t exactly male.” I had no idea that this was even a thing that could happen, and said so. We went back and forth a bit until I kind of, sort of grasped what he was talking about, and then asked him what might be the dumbest question after someone tells you something like that:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">“Was that what you wanted to talk about?”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Kyle’s eyerolling skills, like mine, were honed by several years of adolescence, but still, he really put them to the test in that moment. He did not actually say anything, and didn’t need to. I sat back and let him talk for a while, taking in everything I could only speaking to ask for clarification or repeat what he’d just said in a slightly different way to make sure he knew I was listening.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">He leaned forward, intent, and the words kept coming out of him, but there’s a very good reason I’m not telling you more of what he said: I hardly remember any of it. I hope that he got something out of that conversation, that it soothed his concerns to at least have someone listen to him without judgement but, sincerely, I was still trying to figure out how this “not exactly male” thing works.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Superman vs. The Sentry</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Superman has pretty much every superpower you can imagine. I mean that seriously - dig through the comics hard enough and you’ll find him demonstrating basically every superpower, including telepathy and mind control. The more modern versions of Superman have distilled his powers down to a relative handful: super-strength, indestructibility, flight, freezing breath, eye lasers. It’s common enough that people making superhero games will refer to this suite of abilities as the “Superman package.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">One power, or set of powers, that’s also remained consistent, are his superhuman senses. Not only can he see through objects, but he can also hear with remarkable acuity at great distances. In many versions of the character, he talks about how he can hear hundreds of people crying out for help, and how he desperately wants to help all of them and simply can’t. These comments are usually parenthetical, just something he throws up as an excuse for constantly being vigilant and trying to be everywhere, helping everyone.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In all honesty, this is the thing that makes Superman so alien to me. I have a hard time hearing anyone calling for help and being unable to do anything about it when it’s just a kid on a playground who’s scraped his knee, let alone the kinds of cries for help Superman must hear. The sheer pain of that has to be incredible, and yet he holds up under it. I couldn’t do it and I think if most of us are honest with ourselves, no one could.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">That brings us to Marvel’s Sentry, who’s basically a psychologically honest Superman. He has “the Superman package,” and it very nearly kills him. He can’t handle the constant influx of emotion, the constant realization that there are people in his immediate vicinity that he wants to help - that he </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">could</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> help - and he simply doesn’t have the time to help and eventually that inability, and a very literal manifestation of his darker nature (The Void) drives him to insanity, and he retreats from the world for a time.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">From time to time, a small group of Christians will jokingly talk about what they’d do if they were God, how they’d run the universe. I submit that we can’t handle being Superman (or -woman), let alone the kind of power that comes with being God, less because of the whole “avert your eyes, Moses, or you’ll burn up” thing and more because there are limits to the human capacity for empathy.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Rahab “The Righteous” Is A Big, Fat Liar</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">And I don’t just mean that she tells a little white lie, or that she “misleads with her tongue,” as an old Sunday School once described it. She tells a great, giant, detailed fib of the kind that my dad would spot from space, and she gets away with it. It’s a bold and audacious lie, the kind that, even while acknowledging that lies are sin, is kind of impressive in its breadth and attention to detail.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">She has a stash of Israelite spies hidden in the flax drying on her roof, and when the soldiers come calling, they ask her directly where they are in her house. Her response:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">“Yes, the men were here earlier, but I didn’t know where they were from. They left the town at dusk, as the gates were about to close. I don’t know where they went. If you hurry, you can probably catch up with them.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Was “chutzpah” a Hebrew word by this point? Because if it wasn’t, I posit that Rahab’s whopper of a lie marks the date of its invention. We have absolutely no record that she atones for this lie, and the Israelites never bring it up either. Paul tells us that she’s “righteous.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Hallway Etiquette</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In my third year of high school, I took four courses in one semester that involved the heaviest textbooks I’ve ever had to carry - Western Civilization, Biology, Chemistry and Advanced Math. Western Civ was usually two books, one a massive textbook and one a slimmer reference book. This was the only year that I regularly visited my locker, which was down at the end of the tech wing, right outside of shop class, and about as far from my classes as you could possibly get. I would eventually get a locker right in the middle of the academic wing, but until then, I did a lot of quick movement between classes.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">One day - it must have been early in the year, but I don’t remember exactly when - I was walking from my locker to my next class and had to step around a commotion at one of the lockers on the way. I was moving, but I caught a glimpse of someone getting shoved inside a locker. It was pretty obvious the guy wouldn’t fit. He was about my height, the locker was full and they weren’t large. Still, one guy kept him in place while two others repeatedly slammed the door on him. A few others stood around, some looking concerned, others smiling.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">There is a rule regarding these incidents in the hallway of a high school - ignore them and keep running because they will only bring you pain. Thankfully for the guy in the locker, I either didn’t know or didn’t remember that rule.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">“What’s going on?” I asked of the guy holding him in.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">“This kid’s a fairy - we’re putting him back where he belongs,” he said.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">“What’s a fairy?”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The bully scoffed. I mean, I know that sounds like a line from a novel or something, but he made a noise from his throat that I think would most accurately be transliterated as, “scoff.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">“A fairy, a fag, a fudgepacker.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I knew what those last two terms meant, in the abstract, but more importantly I knew what it was like to be shoved into a locker. I went into the nearest classroom and grabbed a teacher, who came out and broke up the bullying. I mean, I presume. He headed right to handle the situation, I headed left to walk to my class. I wasn’t even a minute late.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">A Complete Annotated List of All Bible Verses Including The Words “Transgender,” </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">...</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">“Thanks, but no thanks”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I know three people who are transgender. I lost touch with the person I’ve called “Kyle” some time ago, and the story’s more than 20 years old. I put a few personal details into the story that are accurate and true, and a couple that aren’t and changed the name such that “Kyle” couldn’t tell the story’s about him until you get to the ending. And he won’t, because he’s dead now, anyway.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Two of them, I’m still in touch with. One has been quite clear about their desire to keep his transition as private as possible, so I never even asked.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The third seemed more private still but never actually said out loud exactly what their preference was. When I asked if I could talk to them about their transition, they balked at the notion and said, “Thanks, but no thanks.” They were concerned that it could cause them trouble.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Frequency of gender dysphoria</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">We like to think that genetics is really simple - you have an XY gene, you’re male, you have an XX, you’re female. It’s a rule that covers 1999 out of 2000 births, so it seems to be pretty well universal. Except of course, that means that 1 out of 2000 births </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">don’t</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> fall into that neat division, leaving us with, worldwide, about 3.5 million people who are intersexed and don’t have either an XX or XY gene. That’s roughly the population of Iowa. In the States, that works out to about 180 000 or a little more than the population of Merrimack County, New Hampshire, which I call home.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">While 1 out of 2000 people have a clear genetic reason to say that their gender identity is unclear, somewhere around 1 out of 1000 people are sexual dysmorphic enough that they have genitals that are non-characteristic and require surgery or medical treatment to correct.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">So, if you use public bathrooms to any extent the question really isn’t, “Have you ever shared a bathroom with a transgender or intersex person?’”, the real question is, “How many times?”</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">It should also be noted that all of these numbers are based only on the currently available evidence. We really have no way of telling exactly what it is that makes a person intersex, and the conditions I’ve talked about here don’t even cover chimerism and other genetic disorders that further muddy the waters, not to mention that some people might be transgender without a genetic cause at all. Genetics are not destiny.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Philip, the teleporting evangelist</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">We don’t know a whole lot about Philip, other than that he really, really earned the title “The Evangelist.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">An angel of God appears to him and tells him to leave town and walk next to a chariot. No, he doesn’t give him super-speed - the word can really be translated “carriage” just about accurately. It describes a larger mode of transport than the war chariot most people think of and was designed for prolonged overland travel. Still, he probably had to jog.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Aboard the chariot is a eunuch from Ethiopia, reading the scrolls of Isaiah. Not missing a beat, he hops aboard and starts explaining to him about the scrolls, the appearance of Christ, the whole gospel, such that the eunuch immediately wants to convert.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Of course, Philip takes him off to the side and explains the rules to him - no R-rated movies (although maybe it’s okay if they have Jesus in them, or it’s R-rated for violence), no dancing, no hard rock, and we’ll have to find a fig leaf to put over the whole “eunuch” thing, but, hey, it’s not the worst secret a church has hidden, right?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Oh, no, he doesn’t do that at all.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Philip says, “Sure,” hops out of the chariot and baptizes him.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Now, this is where the teleporting comes in - he steps out of the water and the angel who sent him to the road “snatches him up” and drops him off a long ways away, near a town called Azotus. Rather than falling down dead from the shock of the miracle that just got committed on his person, he goes on a 70 mile walk south, evangelizing the whole way.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">My Bible is broken</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">It has to be. It’s the only logical explanation.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I’ve looked through it pretty carefully, looking for the place where it tells me that it’s my job to judge the mind and the intent of others.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Maybe one of the minor prophets? Micah? Nahum? Obadiah? Seriously, does anyone read Obadiah?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Oh, wait, that doesn’t help here at all - Obadiah just talks about how people who think they’re untouchable will eventually face God’s judgement, the same as everyone else, and that those who fail to extend the hand of help and charity to those in need will be judged too, and that when we stand and watch violence happen rather than intervene, it’s as though we committed the violence ourselves. Surely nothing useful there.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">It’s strange, though, because it must be there somewhere, and it has to be pretty obvious. After all, there are hundreds of verses about our responsibilities toward the downtrodden, to those who’re hurt and who’ve fallen, dozens of them about letting God and God alone be the judge of the hearts and minds of the people of the world, so somewhere there has to be a verse that explains that He means that we should help only those who aren’t totally icky and gross and make us uncomfortable.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The New Testament’s no help, not the set of books where God makes himself mortal, eats, drinks, cries, laughs, lives and dies as a human - one who evidently has sharp opinions about infertile fig trees, but nevertheless, a human. He cares for everyone, even the unclean woman with the issue of blood, even the lepers, even the Samaritans? The </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Samaritans</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">. Can you even imagine. Actually, I suppose not. When it comes to judging people unclean, we’ve moved on from those days, to Peter and his vision on the roof where God taught him that what he’s declared clean, let no one declare unclean.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">So, I look for the verse about that, too, the one that tells me about the exceptions to His new rule about uncleanliness, but I can’t find it. I look to Paul, who tells me that there is neither slave nor free, neither male nor female in Christ, and that’s just no help at all. More questions, more verses I have to find so I can join the fun of putting people into categories once more.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">But I can’t. My Bible is broken. It’s the only logical explanation.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">“God Don’t Make Broken Things,” Or When I Stopped Listening to Christian Radio</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I used to listen to Christian radio on the ride to work and on the ride home - about half an hour each way. Because of when I left - just off the hour - I never actually knew what shows I was listening to, but that didn’t really matter. The morning was usually hymns, and the drive home was a man with a brilliant mind for theology and a wonderful accent I could never quite place - Irish? Scottish?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Then my shift changed and now it was a radio call-in show in the mornings. Not my usual cup of tea, but I listened anyway, until one day when they had a special “guest host.” I forget the gentleman’s name, but he had a voice as bold and brassy as all Texas and accented much the same. The day’s show was going to be dedicated to issues surrounding abortion as this gentleman was apparently something of an expert on the topic, which struck me as odd as it seems like a strange thing to be an expert in, unless you’re an ob/gyn or something.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Anyhow, a couple of people called in to thank him for coming on the show and to show their support for one pro-life cause or another. The man gave his hypothesis that any woman who allows a child to be removed from the womb before the time of delivery is a murderer, and that all the doctors who talk about “medically necessary” abortions are just talking nonsense because, and I remember this well, “God don’t make broken things.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I remember arching an eyebrow at that because so far as I could tell, all that God had to work with were broken things, at least if he was working with humans.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">And then one of those broken things called. She was a housewife, married to a pastor of a small church in the South who worked a day job on a construction site. They’d had two kids when she got pregnant again and from the first visit, about two weeks along, the doctors were concerned. There were tests and tests, and ultrasounds, and about four weeks in it became obvious that they’d have to wait a spell before they could have their third child. They’d already diagnosed a number of deformities, most of them survivable individually, but disastrous when combined, and then an ultrasound showed the worst news of all - nothing developed passed the brainstem.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">She said she herself could see on the ultrasound that the child’s head looked like a “deflated balloon.” Anencephaly.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Two weeks later, the baby died in the womb. Her husband insisted that she bring the child to term, because “God don’t make broken things,” and it would be wrong to do otherwise. She cried every night, cut her arms, culminating in a suicide attempt. He promised the doctors at the hospital that he’d get her counselling, but when they got home, he told her she didn’t deserve counselling and that she’d better not put “his child” in harm’s way again.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">About three months along, she became very sick and made an appointment with her “baby doctor,” arranging to go at a time when her husband was unavailable. The doctors did their tests again and found that the fetus had detached completely from the uterine wall and was starting to decompose, causing her illness and an infection that, if left untreated, would kill her. They rushed her to the hospital and, with her consent, they removed the fetus, also removing all the infected tissue they could. That meant her uterus, her ovaries and a goodly portion of intestine.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">She said all of this in a small voice, and said at the end, “So I want you to explain how it is that you can say that God doesn’t make broken things.” There was silence on the air for a moment before the guest speaker began to speak. He wished her peace and healing and offered to pray for her although he did not do so at that time. He talked about all of the women he’d spoken to who’d lost children in the womb, and then just baldly reiterated, “God don’t make broken things.” He offered no defense of it at all, that I could tell, in part because it’s not a defensible position.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I changed the channel just as he began to talk to the woman about her unfaithfulness to her husband because she had the surgical procedure done without his permission and had taken steps to make sure that he couldn’t give it. I did not change back again.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Woolgathering</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">If you’ve made it this far, you’ve probably noticed that this is a set of anecdotes, statistics and ponderings that don’t seem to provide any kind of context. Well, welcome to the inside of my head. I take in a fair bit of the world around me, but then I just kind of file it away, and not neatly, no. I just jam into my brain somewhere.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">When I was a kid, on the rare occasion someone actually mentioned them, transgender people were scary sexual deviants who were especially dangerous to children. For some reason, they were almost men dressed up as women, and all of them wanted to seduce young boys. The nature and purpose of this seduction was never made clear, except that it was bad. Being transgender was always a choice, never a matter of biology because God wouldn’t make a “mistake” like that.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In my teens and mid 20s, events conspired to change that. There was my conversation with Kyle, and I met my first person who’d transitioned from one gender to the other and they were utterly normal. I haven’t been given permission to talk in details here, but if you met them, you’d likely find them quite normal as well. At the time, I just assumed that it was related to how the well-meaning grown-ups had tried to “save” me from the evils of Archie comics when I didn’t need saving at all. It’s not like anyone really had a handy Bible verse on people who are transgender. You need a full set of four pillars to figure some of this stuff out.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">So, what do I think God wants you to do about transgender people? Well, pretty much whatever he wants us to do with anyone else. Maybe go out for coffee, or talk about our favourite books. Learn their recipe for fried chicken, or teach them how to make sausage gravy. Help them pick out cat toys for their new Russian Blue or offer to take their boxer for a walk while their in the hospital. I can’t live your life for you. They’re just another person - treat them like a person and you’ll probably do fine.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div>
Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-66755991432251323782019-07-02T18:00:00.000-07:002019-07-02T18:00:19.195-07:00The Responsibility of StorytellingA year or so ago, I took my eldest son, Graeme, to a Frank Turner concert. He started out straight up punk, with the band Million Dead, then moved to a sort of folk punk sound and has, more or less with England Keep My Bones, moved to folk or pop, though with the same raw honesty and simple song structures I, at least, associate with punk.<br />
<br />
This is an important detail to this story because the incident I'm about to relate happened on the way home from that concert. Our throats were raw, we were slightly we from the sort of drizzly rain that Boston seems to specialize in during early summer, and we were both kind of ... open. I've talked before about his latest album, Be More Kind, but it's basically a love letter to humanity, a centrist's plea for us to maybe stop being jerks to each other for a bit and see how that works out. After two and a half hours of that man performing and chatting with his audience like we were all long-lost friends and lovers, I was looking at people with a different eye.<br />
<br />
One of the things I really like about going to Boston is, not everyone's from New Hampshire. Let me explain.<br />
<br />
I love New Hampshire. I have lived her for twenty years and, God willing, I will die here, however there's a sameness to the place, especially in our bucolic little rural town. There are perhaps a dozen different phenotypes for the various human features, and eventually you see all of them combined in all of the ways you can reasonable expect them to be and you're sort of done. One face sort of blurs into the next after a bit, or it can if you're lazy.<br />
<br />
Boston doesn't let you be lazy. You have people from a dozen different small towns dressed up like a city all packed into the same place, and there's just a stunning variety of humanity.<br />
<br />
So, on the subway back to the train station, I took them in. An Asian woman with brilliant purple nails, reading a weathered copy of Asimov's Foundation, her nails periodically dipping into the contents of the burrito laying across her lap. A gaggle of sixteen-something girls, ohmygodding over life, the universe and everything. An older couple, both with their backs to me, their heads nodding against each other, his voice a velvet baritone, hers a husky alto. A gigantic man with a muscle shirt advertising a gym, protein shake in hand, glaring around, not like he's looking for a fight, but rather like he's ready for a fight if it presents itself.<br />
<br />
The writer part of my brain is fascinated by this man. His bare arms are just a landscape of muscle, ridges and definition in places where I'm pretty sure I don't even have tissue, with a howling dog high on his right bicep, the dark green of the ink somehow popping out against the brown-olive of his skin. The bag of his shoulder clanks when the train moves and clearly contains some weights, but he doesn't seem to have to even sway to accommodate the shift in weight. He's holding the protein shake in his right hand and I can see calluses on his knuckles, most notably on the middle finger.<br />
<br />
Who is he? A mob hoodlum? Amateur MMA fighter? Pro MMA fighter? He could be. We hit a bump and his protein shake falls out of his hand and he catches it before it hits the ground, those giant muscles flexing and bending almost faster than my eye can follow.<br />
<br />
We stop. The older couple leaves. I never actually saw their faces, so I'm going to continue to pretend that they really were Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart, immortals who ran away from Hollywood and the mess of their lives to spend their days in obscurity in Boston. The gaggle leaves as well, along with much of the energy of the subway car, and I again reflect on how, "Youth is wasted on the young," is only something that can be said by a cynic, because they seem to be taking full advantage of it.<br />
<br />
A few others come on, including a woman about half the size of my new gym-attending pugilist friend, who immediately walks over to him, ranting about how stressful her day was at work. His face immediately softens and I can tell that the only person in the world for him right then is her. A man offers him a seat, but she declines, instead using her boyfriend as an anchor as she continues to vent about the pettiness of office politics and a particular co-worker who's really working her last nerve.<br />
<br />
Her ranting rises and falls in pitch and speed, and when it gets faster, I can easily pick up some distinct traits of a Chicano accent. She also runs her one free hand through her dark curly hair constantly and emphasizes her speech with a whole lot of intentional comic impressions of her co-workers, although I get the feeling that her impression of Sherida might border on the racist. Still, Sherida sounds like a real pill, so, hey, no judgement from me.<br />
<br />
It takes two more stops for her to get to the end of it, and it's only two more stops from there that my son and I need to exit and some part of me feels the need to fast forward their conversation because I want to know how this ends, darn it. Thankfully, gym guy doesn't let me down.<br />
<br />
"That sucks, babe. When we get home, I'll give you a shoulder rub with them scented oils." His voice is far higher pitched than I expected it to be and he pronounces "oils" very oddly, saying it as though the letter "i" doesn't modify its sound at all. Her reaction startles him: she punches him, hard, in the shoulder he's using to hold his gym bag, hard enough that it makes him do what the rickety subway tracks couldn't - he has to sway to keep control of it.<br />
<br />
"Stop it," she says, firmly. "You're smarter than that, and you know it. They're 'essential oils,' and you showed me to them. Why do you do this? Why do you hide yourself behind this meathead body you've made yourself. You're so smart! You could ..." She doesn't finish. The day has spent the last bit of her energy and she all but collapses onto him, in an image I've seen before. When the one you love is the source of your pain, sometimes you still fall on them for solace. And he gives it to her, wrapping a massive arm around her torso and holding her close, the howling dog facing out at the world.<br />
<br />
His face is fallen, realizing that his woman's hurt and he was a cause of some of that pain, but his tat still sends a clear message: if anyone else wants to hurt her, you come through me first.<br />
<br />
Our stop is next. Graeme and I step out and head home, and I ponder that situation on the drive back as he dozes in the passenger seat. I think about the frankly kind of vile assumptions I made about my gym friend, and what that means to the stories that I tell. I mean, that's pretty much my thing: I'm a storyteller, and because I'm a human storyteller, I do embellish and add details here and there because I can't know everything, and my mind fills in the gaps, often without me even being entirely aware that it's doing so.<br />
<br />
If I only told stories my own benefit, that would be one thing, but I don't. I share these stories with my kids, with my friends, and some times with larger audiences. I wrote plays and skits for my church, and some of those end up on video, so my audience, theoretically, everyone. That means that even if the stories I tell aren't important, I still have a responsibility to make sure that the stories I tell have some kind of value, and that if people can't trust that every detail of the story is 100% accurate, then at least that the story serves some kind of purpose.Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-55980671184037556192019-01-20T10:25:00.001-08:002019-01-20T10:25:17.947-08:00How to protest, or, treating people as thingsSo, by now most of you have seen, or at least heard of, a Native American man being stared down by a young man in a MAGA hat while he plays a drum quite close to him. I commented about it with a quote from a favourite author.<br />
<br />
First, I want to address the narrative of what happened. There's an apparently common conception that the young men in the video went and surrounded him. They did not - Nathan Phillips approached the group, playing a peace song, and then the young man the in the video was either pushed by the crowd or chose to confront the man, standing perhaps a foot away and almost touching the drum he was playing.<br />
<br />
According to Mr. Phillips' account, and based on the video, he was shouted at by students, and while there are no chaperones in sight, he claims that they did as well, and that some of them chanted "build that wall." I honestly see no reason to doubt his account of the events - using Trump-related propaganda to intimidate already has a history, and we don't have a full video of what occurred.<br />
<br />
So, that's the event, so far as we can see or interpret it. There are some additional pieces we can tease out that add to the context. Mr. Phillips has been protesting for longer than I've been alive, is a Vietnam veteran, and a man with a good reputation across pretty well all First Nations groups. The young man is wearing a hat in apparent support of a man who uses the name of a Native American heroine as an insult. There are others, but there's another wrinkle on this that made me think of Terry Pratchett's admonition that evil begins when you start seeing people as things: these boys were on a school field trip to protest abortion in front of the Lincoln Memorial.<br />
<br />
My thoughts on abortion are complicated, to say the least, but as a general rule I've decided to refer to myself as being "pro-baby." That is, I want the national economy, the social structure and health care to all be designed such that any woman who wants to have a baby can do so and both mother and child will have the opportunity to thrive. Since we're nowhere close to having any of those things be true, and given the way the politics of abortion have, I believe, tarnished and distorted Christianity and other people's view of Christianity, I don't think that I could, in good conscience, protest abortion and consider it to be something God believes I ought to do. Again, I've arrived at this opinion though a complicated series of steps, but one of them involves a three-week period in 1994.<br />
<br />
I was a kind of nerdy kid, still pretty fresh from a very small, close-knit Christian private school and all but thrown into the largest high school in my town, but I had some friends and some confidantes. I was a sarcastic ball of hormones and fear, but around those friends I could relax and be more like the person you've met if you've met me recently. It was in this context that one of my friend's girlfriends approached me.<br />
<br />
She was pregnant. The father wasn't my friend, but some guy she met at a party, who'd gotten her drunk, raped her, and left her there. It was the sort of party where that kind of behaviour could easily happen and be covered up, the sort that Good Girls Don't Go To, and she was more terrified of her parents finding out about the party and the pregnancy than anything else, it seemed. She hadn't been to a doctor yet, but she'd been getting nauseous every morning, and she'd missed her period for two months straight, which she never did, and could I help her, please, please?<br />
<br />
I honestly had no idea what to do, but she was a friend, and she was desperate, so I wasn't going to let her alone. I sincerely believed it was my Christian duty to help to the extent that I could, and to keep her counsel to myself unless she let me talk about it with someone. I asked if I could, as I had a friend that I thought could help and between the three of us we figured out a plan to take her to a local women's health clinic where she could get help, hopefully anonymously.<br />
<br />
The first visit was on a cold and rainy Saturday in March. The doctor was a man in his mid-50s, with a kind face, and a strangely shaped, conical skull that looked like it had simply pushed through his hairdo, leaving a ring of hair around his head like the snowline around the edge of Mount Everest's peak. He was comical in the interview, too, until he realized that wasn't the set of bedside skills he needed and became quite serious. Blood was drawn, tests were made and in the next week it was confirmed that she was pregnant, about three months along, and could you come in again, please?<br />
<br />
The next Saturday, the doctor was far more serious. The tests confirmed pregnancy, but also revealed that the fetus was far less developed than it should be. More tests were necessary.<br />
<br />
On Tuesday, she didn't come to school. She had a serious fever, couldn't keep food down, and was bleeding from, as our president would say, her wherever. The doctor called that same day to tell us the bad news - the placenta hadn't adhered properly and was likely to tear free completely, potentially leading to hemorrhage. With her symptoms, she was brought in for examination and likely surgery at a nearby outpatient clinic.<br />
<br />
I left school in the middle of the day, giving some no-doubt creative excuse, and when we got to the clinic, I discovered that evidently the women's health clinic had protesters, but only during the week. There were six or seven of them, standing on either side of the walk leading up to the clinic, yelling at the men and women who were going in. One of them wasn't much older than me, and he was particularly histrionic, waving his sign in front of women's face in particular and shouting some pretty vile stuff at them.<br />
<br />
As we made our way up the walk, my friend already in tears, our drive holding her and charging ahead like a fullback, I made an especial effort to head off the young man with his sign. When he moved to block our path, I knocked the sign, intending to just knock it away, but instead knocking it away. He moved as though intending to charge my pregnant friend, and I put my hand on his chest and asked him not to.<br />
<br />
I don't remember the entire conversation in detail, but I do remember asking him, Christian to Christian, to not harass us because we were already dealing with something serious and he wasn't helping, and that his consistent response was, "It's my right to peacefully protest."<br />
<br />
I asked him to identify with us as people, as individuals, as creations of God with feelings and needs and wants, with pains and sorrow and a deep, abiding need for grace and mercy, and he refused to do so, just reiterating his right, over and over, to treat us as objects for his rights to be acted upon. I don't know when it began in him, exactly, what it was that did it, but that, right there was evil.<br />
<br />
I wish I could tell you that my friend's story had a happy ending, but it doesn't. It's not mine to tell, frankly, both because anything further could reveal who she is, and because the story is <i>hers</i>, and not mine from this point onward. I only tell it to pass on one of the lessons it taught me:<br />
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Evil begins by treating people as things, and when we choose to stand against a perceived injustice in a manner that treats people as things, evil is the inevitable result.Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-83255304494628594292018-10-13T07:42:00.002-07:002018-10-13T07:42:43.248-07:00Goodbye Greg Stafford; Hello Greg Stafford<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="g6ql" data-offset-key="7s3bo-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<span data-offset-key="7s3bo-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Wargaming - creating artificial armies in order to act or reenact military conflicts - is older than chess, but the real stuff, with maps, miniatures and rules, was more or less restricted to the elite, who could afford them. This lasted until the late 19th century, when the wealth of the middle class began to close in on the wealth of the upper class. In the early 20th century, H.G. Wells, known more for being one of the founding fathers of specfic, codified rules for wargaming. These rules covered real world military units and were intended to be used chiefly for reenacting, but, while we have no actual evidence of this, observation of modern wargamers would seem to indicate that they were used for more than this purpose.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="7s3bo-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">The first incident of fantasy wargaming that we have on record dates from 1916, although it's indirectly reported. Canadian author Timothy Findley, who interviewed a large number of WWI veterans and used their stories in his own fiction, recounts a couple of officers who, after hours, would take the little standees on the battle map and re-run the battles of the day, arguing over the relative strengths and abilities of the individual units. Warhammer fans know how that goes.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="52nhb-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Why is it fantasy wargaming? They re-ran the battles in an effort to minimize casualties, reducing the loss of life in what remains one of the bloodiest, most horrific wars in history.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="9k93l-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Wargaming became a much bigger and more formal sort of thing post WWII, both because some returning soldiers maintained an interest in military matters, and because of the discovery of a process by which the expense pewter and lead miniatures could be replaced with rubber models.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="9k93l-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Still, this was mostly real-world stuff - musketeers, Hussar cavalry, German tanks and the like.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="9k93l-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">At this point, tradition would have me start talking about Chainmail, Gary Gygax and Dungeons and Dragons and the like, but I'm going off in a different direction today, one that I'd argue is just as important, if not more so: Greg Stafford.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="9k93l-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Greg Stafford was an English major with a prolific imagination, and a nascent interest in shamanism, and he had this idea for an interactive fantasy world called "Glorantha." No publishers wanted it, so he created a company to produce it - Chaosium.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="9k93l-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Over the ensuing decades, he would create, or, with assistance, create RuneQuest, Pendragon and Call of Chtulhu. While TSR sued its fans for producing and sharing their own content, Stafford and company created an environment of collaboration. There aren't as many, say, RuneQuest fans as there are D&D players, but those fans are dedicated in no small part because of the excellence of the game's founder.</span></div>
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That love of creating stuff with other people, which is at the heart of roleplaying, doesn't solely originate in Greg Stafford, but if that optimistic collaboration has a patron saint, it would be him.</div>
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Well, it would've been him. He died a day or so ago. But. BUT. Every time you sit around a table with a group of people and make up stories together, rolling dice, swilling Mountain Dew and laughing, Greg Stafford remains. I get the feeling he's going to be around for a while.</div>
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Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-45024489895207448582018-09-11T18:38:00.000-07:002018-09-12T14:27:38.959-07:00Phalacrocoracidae, Simeon and Tapdancing<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Part One: </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Phalacrocoracidae</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The family </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Phalacrocoracidae is home to some 40 species of birds. Most well-known are</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the cormorants, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">but the family also includes the very unfortunately named “shags.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">They’re </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">tall sea-birds with long beaks </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">adapted for eating slender fish and eels. Typically</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">saltwater, some varieties have adapted (some would say </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">re-adapted) to inland seas. There</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">are some three species common in New Hampshire, all with dark plumage </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">and the typical</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">wing-drying behaviour of the family. This behaviour isn’t widely studied, but in all species</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">studied thus far, it appears that the feather layers are actually water permeable, so after</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">any length of soak, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">they have to dry by the side of the water before resuming fishing.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">They aren’t as sociable as gulls, but typically live in small family groups, and while they</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">tend to avoid humans </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">they have no special fear of them and can be found on piers and</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">docks, and in backyard ponds. Because </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">their diet consists mostly of “feeder fish” for the</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">kinds of fish that humans like to eat, they’re often regarded as </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">a nuisance species.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Part Two: Simeon</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I love the Gospels. While I tend to find myself navigating through the prophets or</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">rereading Ecclesiastes or </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">James, I make a conscious effort to re-read them Gospels at</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">least once a year, just to refresh my memory. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">It’s always a worthwhile read and I pick up</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">on something that I missed the last time around.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The story of Simeon, which is only found in Luke’s gospel, is not one of those hidden</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">stories. The short of it </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">that a Jewish man was told by God Himself that he would not pass</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">from Earth without seeing The Messiah </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">and, when Mary and Joseph brought Jesus into</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">the temple at 40 days old, he held him and said a prayer over </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">him. He gave him back to his</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">parents, telling them their child would bless the world, although Jesus would </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">also suffer</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; white-space: pre;">terribly.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And that’s it. A few minutes contact with the divine and Simeon exits the stage. The text doesn’t spell it out</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">entirely clearly, but in context with what he said, Simeon might well have gone home and died that night, his</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">destiny and his desire fulfilled.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Part Three: Tapdancing</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">As with many American forms of dance, tapdancing is … well, complicated, when it comes to its historical</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">roots, and even to its modern presentation.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Drawing from Irish, English, African and possibly Dutch rhythmic dancing traditions, tapdancing is basically</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the dancing art of tapping metal plates on the toe and heel of specially made shoes in a pattern. It dates back</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">to the 1800s or so, and was a common element of minstrel shows. During the days of vaudeville, dancers</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">began to add more arm movements, and by the jazz age it was very much the freewheeling style of</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">tapdancing that’s still evolving, but would be recognizable to an audience today.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">As a dance style, it’s most commonly associated with African-American performers, and, based on its early</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">associations with minstrel shows, some artists have suggested that perhaps tapdancing should be phased</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">out in favour of more inclusive, less racially-charged forms of dance but, well.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Dule Hill, mostly know for his role as </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #3a3a3a; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Ovaltine Jenkins</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> on the TV show “Psych,” has said that tapdancing feels</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">“liberating.” The proof is in the footwork, I think.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Part Four: The Story</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">On Monday, I went to my son’s dance studio. He’s fifteen, so usually I just drop him off and head back home,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">but that particular day I needed to go in to see if his tap shoes had arrived, and to pay for them if they had.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">On entering, there were between ten and one hundred people milling about the lobby as two classes were</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">nearing their end and parents, brothers and sisters milled around. I tried to penetrate through to the front</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">desk, but there were just too many people. I waited my turn as parents and kids cycled past Kris, one of the</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">heads of the studio, with their questions, comments and concerns. When I got to her, we exchanged</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">pleasantries and then she looked out at the nearby highway, cried out, “There’s a duck in the road!” ran out</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">from behind the desk and outside.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I stood inside, staring at the place where the air was still rushing in to replace Kris’ now-absent form, mouth</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">somewhat agape, but soon rallied and looked outside. There was indeed a large bird in the middle of the</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">highway, and as I watched she ran into traffic and guided the bird off the highway and into the relative safety</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">of a small side street. As she continued her efforts to corral the bird to safety, a minivan turns down the side</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">street.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">At that distance it was impossible to see the actual conversation that ensued, but soon the driver of the</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">minivan was parked at an angle on the road, and she and Kris were working together with the bird. The</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">minivan blocked our view, though, so I and the other inhabitants of the dance studio lobby watched and</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">craned out necks, waiting for her to come back. Soon enough she did, her jacket off and carrying something</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">inside it, cuddled to her front like a lost child, or a damaged seabird.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">She skittered inside and confirmed that she did, indeed, have a seabird wrapped in her jacket and could</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">someone be a dear and see about getting a blanket because the bird was rather larger to carry to a vet’s</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">office in a windbreaker.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">My trunk is a place of mystery. Even I don’t know exactly what’s in there, but one thing I remembered is that it</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">still held a costume I wore a few Christmases ago when I played the role of Simeon in a play at church. It was</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">a large robe on me, and since I periodically wake from a nap to find parties of explorers trying to spelunk</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">inside me, that meant it was just enormous. I rushed out to the car and found it, and ran back in.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I was outside for perhaps a minute, but in that time the bird had gotten loose and pecked Kris on the bridge of</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the nose. She still held it in her arms, but now had a hand holding the bird’s beak shut. That was when I</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">realized what she’d realized earlier - this wasn’t a duck. The beak was simply too long and slender.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">She made her way into the passenger seat of an SUV belonging to a dance mom who’d agreed to drive her to</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the vet’s office and they were off. When I returned to pick up Graeme, she was back and reported that the</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">bird was indeed a cormorant, that it had a broken wing and would be referred to the New Hampshire</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Department of Fish and Game to be rehabilitated and returned to the wild.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Part Five - Conclusion</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">By population, there are approximately five million members of the family Phalacrocoracidae, worldwide.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Assuming that this was a female handling a brood of young, Kris saved the life of, well, just the one adult</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">because nature’s cruel that way. That seems like a great deal of fuss over one life in five million, but it was an</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">act of kindness, and that is, so far as I’ve ever been able to determine, its own justification.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Be more kind.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Part Six - Denouement</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The tap shoes had come in, but they were the wrong size.</span></div>
Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-84611128969217352232018-07-14T19:13:00.002-07:002018-07-24T18:33:56.320-07:00The House With A Clock In Its WallsFirst, it must be understood that even when I was a very small child, I was quite convinced that my next-door neighbour, Mrs. Ireland, was a witch. She lived in a large house in the middle of a large piece of property in the middle of the city, a creaky, drafty place with more history to it than any couple could actually need, she could make macaroni and cheese sauce with cheese, milk and flour and no orange powder whatsoever and, oh, yes, she could <i>read minds</i>.<br />
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How do I know this? Well, as soon as I concluded that she was a witch, she gave a box of books to my parents that just happened to include <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Witch-Family-Eleanor-Estes/dp/015202610X">The Witch Family</a>, a children's book about a crazy old hag of a witch whose nasty temper is mollified by being around a young child. I got the message. I got the other part of the message, too, that while she might be a crazy old hag of a witch some of the time, it was my solemn duty to be near enough to her that she didn't turn me, or anyone in my family, into a toad. This was made easier by the fact that, at least when I was around, she was a very nice witch indeed.<br />
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Nevertheless, it was with some trepidation that I went up to her cottage, just our family and the two of them alone for a weekend in the middle of Northern Ontario where, I imagined, one could boil an entire family alive and no one would ever know. Still, I would be there so she was likely to be a very nice witch. And she was, mostly, except for that first night.<br />
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My dad read books to me a lot when I was a child, and that weekend was to be no different, but the drive up to the cottage, hefting everything into the house, and dealing with my sister's whinging - I was a perfectly obedient child, of course - had left him rather obviously exhausted, and so Mrs. Ireland volunteered to read a chapter of one of her favourite books. We vanished upstairs, me taking the steps at as rapid a pace as I could manage as Mrs. Ireland did have excellent taste in books and had read books to me before, her smooth pleasant tones wrapping around into various voices that varied from comedic to serious.<br />
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She read the first chapter of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/House-Clock-Walls-Lewis-Barnavelt/dp/0142402575">The House With A Clock In Its Walls</a> and it was quite unlike anything I'd ever heard. The story was old-fashioned, taking place in the late 40s, but it still felt very modern and I identified with the main character, pudgy Lewis, unlike anyone else then or since, but it was the language of the book that attracted me. I understood every image and phrase, but they were so mature and confident, so refined and grown-up sounding, and they rolled around in my head like rolling a luscious bite of ice cream in one's mouth.<br />
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I loved it. And the first chapter was over in about fifteen minutes. She snapped the book shut with authority and put it down on the dresser, just out of reach.<br />
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"Did you like that, Jimmy?" she asked. The light of the bedside lamp reflected off of her glasses, hiding her eyes behind the shine, and so I didn't dare risk anything more than a nod and a quiet, "Yes." She smiled broadly.<br />
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"Well, that's enough for tonight at any rate. Perhaps another couple of chapters tomorrow. It's time for you bed." And, with a shake of her finger, she admonished, "No more reading tonight."<br />
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Her feet had just fallen upon the stairs when I turned the bedside lamp back on and started in with chapter two. Several hours later I was nearly finished when I heard feet hitting the bottom steps and rushed to turn out my light, hiding the book under my pillow. If my mother knew that I wasn't asleep, I didn't notice as I lay there, trying to look at beatific and asleep as possible while willing all the grown-ups to get to bed already.<br />
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I finished the book somewhere around midnight. I know because the cuckoo clock on the mantel downstairs let out twelve mournful whistles.Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557302021834700050.post-83898516154732503232018-07-07T16:41:00.002-07:002018-07-07T16:41:55.151-07:00What It Means When A Man Falls From The SkyAbout three years ago, I read Anne Leckie's Imperial Radch trilogy, followed by the entirety of Seanan McGuire's October Daye series, followed by her Wayward Children books. About halfway through this exercise, I realized that it had been some time since I'd read a female author, and that it was something I really missed. I followed this up by reading Jemisin's Broken Earth trilogy, during which I picked up a few other books by lady authors including, at the recommendation of Levar Burton's fantastic podcast, Lesley Nneka Arimah's "What It Means When A Man Falls From The Sky."<div>
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It's a pretty short book, with 12 stories, averaging about 20 pages each, and I read it ... well, today. This Saturday. I started in the morning and finished it up as the chicken breasts I'd prepared for dinner slowly smoked in the Weber grill. One of the best compliments I can give this books is that it distracted me such that the smaller of the breasts dried out a bit, and I had to butterfly the largest of them as I didn't move them in and out of hotzones as I should have.</div>
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These aren't stories by a woman writer. These aren't stories by an African-American writer. These are stories by a woman who's an ex-pat Nigerian, and not from one of the better times in Nigeria's history. These pages bleed a particular culture, a specific period and time, and a particular set of characters. In the hands of a lesser author, 12 stories with these limitations could feel stale and unlived-in, but LNA is not a lesser author.</div>
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Her characters feel real, even when she's writing magical realism or straight-up afro-futurism. I honestly think that my favourite tale is "What Is A Volcano?", which has one human character. The rest of mythological characters, acting out a tale that resonates in a way that feels like it could've been told by grandmothers to their granddaughters for millennia.</div>
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So, what are the themes? Women and families, mostly, and especially how the latter screw-up the former. There are a lot of damaged women in these pages, and people who don't feel comfortable with stories of abuse - emotional, verbal or physical - should read this book with that in mind. I recommend this book to everyone else, though, and I do mean everyone.</div>
Jim Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13168308019214687820noreply@blogger.com0