Christians and pagans, friends and Romans, we have found it. After an exhaustive and thorough analysis and a staggering search over thousands of years, we have found the greatest weapon of war.
Okay, you probably need some context here. Last week in London, there was a vicious and brutal attack in broad daylight against a member of the British military. The man was hacked to death in the middle of the street by, if sources are correct, a pair of Muslim men. There have been a variety of responses to the attack and a lot of them against Muslims.
Quite a few of these attacks seem to connected to an organization called the English Defense League, which is a loosely bound coalition of soccer hooligans, neo-Nazis and Christian fundamentalists*. To my church friends, no, you're not hallucinating that last bit. There are Christian fundamentalists who think that the most Christian way to respond to violence is to offer it in response. And, no, I don't get it either.
They decided to stage a protest outside a mosque. And by, "protest," we really meaning that they were planning to show up, shout racial slurs and try to incite violence. They've done it before. And then, this happened.
Now, at this time we can't be sure that the custard cream alone was what did it. It might have been the tea as well - these people are British, after all - but the research is promising enough that I'm confident in saying that custard creams are our greatest weapon of war.
Or maybe it's this. Maybe turning the other cheek, and denying the power of violence** and actually talking to people is the best way to turn away war.
Hmm. It seemed simple at first. I guess it's not. Further research is clearly needed.
. . .
Anyone want some Oreos and tea? Fresh out of custard creams.
* There serious needs to be a "three guys walk into a bar" joke here.
** Not a universally Christian concept, and a concept that more than a few Christians seem to struggle with, particularly lately.